Jacob, Don't!
by LadyofSpain
Summary: Jacob has been in love with Bella since-forever. But she just can't look past his age or his friendship. Every time he tries to get closer, he hears, "Jacob, don't!" He decides to make it his mission to erase those words from her vocabulary, and hopefully replace them with words of love.
1. Chapter 1

Jacob, Don't!

By Lady of Spain

* * *

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

**A/N: This is a departure for Lady of Spain. This story will actually follow canon; however, wording from the original will be used sparingly, and lots of my scenes will be thrown in for good measure. The story of his frustration and pain will be told through Jacob's eyes.**

* * *

Chapter One: Stirrings in My Heart

God, I was so in love with her. But every time I tried to get just a little bit closer, all I heard was, "Jacob, don't." I wished she would delete that little phrase from her vocabulary. Jeez, it wasn't like I was trying to haul her off to bed or anything, not that it hadn't crossed my mind—a lot. After all, I was fifteen and those stinkin' hormones were pulsing through my veins. Okay, so I was a guy. I couldn't help it; I was made this way. She knew I would never go beyond what she was comfortable with though. The problem was: she wasn't comfortable with _any_ physical show of affection from me. I only wanted to feel her warm skin next to mine, for Pete's sake. She wouldn't even let me hold her hand, or put my arm around he. And sneakin' in a kiss? Forget it!

And through it all, I was still such a sucker for her. _How did all this happen to me?_ I wondered. You're probably wondering too. Well ...

It all started when Bella came to our house when I was little. Then, her dad and mom divorced and I only got to see her on occasion when she visited during the summer. Charlie would drag her with him to our house, and she'd play with my sisters. I tried to tag along, but she didn't pay much attention to me. Yeah, it's funny how some things never change. Funny, but I'm definitely not laughing.

Then, I didn't see her for years. I really missed her. My heart just about exploded when I found out she was actually coming to live in Forks. Hallelujah! And double hallelujah—I got to gift her with the old '53 Chevy truck Charlie had bought from my dad. Phew, that was close. No self–respecting teenage boy would be seen driving that ancient behemoth.

* * *

To most people it would seem a small thing getting inside the truck with her to go over all its idiosyncrasies. But man, just the scent of her nearly sent me into orbit. Was that the scent of strawberries I was inhaling? I wanted to nuzzle her neck and breathe in that sweet aroma. Maybe it was the shampoo she used, but whatever it was, it knocked me for a loop. I had to swallow hard, and strain to get the words out. I kept sneaking sidelong glances at her, but she never once looked at me the whole time we were in the cab. I guess I was still Rachel and Rebecca's pesky little brother, huh?

We stayed for a while at Charlie's that day. He and my dad watched a game on the TV. Bella asked me if I wanted to go up to her room. _Better believe it, honey_.

I snickered as Charlie cautioned, "Leave the door open, Bells."

Did he really think his daughter would be doin' anything naughty with a freshman, no less? She had just barely begun to look at me—big whoop!

Her room was small and pretty sissy with twinkle lights all over, doodads hung around the walls, and a purple flowery bedspread on her bed—_her bed_ ... _Get that outta your head, Jake._ As small as it was, her room was easily twice the size of mine.

"What did you want to do, Jacob?" Bella asked, as she sat on _the bed_.

I stood there like an idiot. I couldn't pull my eyes away from _the bed_. My voice finally emerged. That was a dumb question as far as I was concerned, but I came up with an equally dumb answer. "Do you have any video games?"

"No, sorry. I think they're a big waste of time."

Great—now I was not only a little brother, but a time wasting little brother.

I scratched the back of my head nervously. "You wanna watch a movie or somethin'?"

She-bit-her-bottom-lip. Now, I was drawn like a magnet to that sight too. I watched her mouth move as she said, "Um ... our only TV is downstairs, and our dads are glued to it."

I was crashing and burning in slow motion here. Timidly, I sat beside her, grasping at straws by this point. "Music?"

"Okay," she replied as she got up and crossed the room. She reached up to a shelf above her head to get down a CD. As she stretched, her shirt rose a few inches, exposing some of the creamiest skin I had ever seen. If it wasn't so obvious, I'd have been gnawing on my knuckles.

She put the CD into the player. It was Muse. Ugh! I couldn't stand that group, but I didn't say anything.

Next, she began scrounging around in her dresser. Finding what she was looking for, she held up a pack of cards, Rook to be exact. "Would you like to play a game?"

Kissing games came to mind, but I knew _that_ wouldn't happen. So, I guess I was stuck playing Rook.

I was usually such a blabbermouth at home. My best friends, Embry and Quil were frequently telling me to _shut it, already._ Why was I so tongue-tied now? She was just a girl, I told myself. I didn't have a problem talking to other girls, so why this one? Bella being so quiet didn't make things any easier either. The conversation was awkward to say the least. If it wasn't for the card game, we would've really been roaming aimlessly in _Silent City._

When the ball game downstairs ended, I wanted to kick myself. I could have told her all about my friends and school and the rez. I didn't even ask her about Phoenix, or why she came back. Maybe after we spent more time with each other my lips would loosen up a little. Jeez, I certainly hoped so.

* * *

Weeks passed and I was anxious to see Bella again. Tinkering in the garage had lost some of its attraction. Life was boring, school was boring, I was boring. I needed to see her.

Quil and Embry couldn't even get me back on the road to happiness. They were my best buds. I had known them all my life. They began teasing me about being so ... mopey.

One day, in my garage—aka, the Taj Mahal— Quil stood in front of my Rabbit flippin' a wrench in his hand. He suddenly brayed, "You're no fun anymore. You gotta face it, man. This Bella is out-of-your-league. She's a junior; you're a lowly freshman. Get it?"

I'd been antsy, pacing back and forth. I leaned over and picking up a dirty rag, threw it at him. "Do you have to rub it in? I know I'm a freshman, stupid. What I need is some kind of strategy to make her forget about that insignificant bit of information."

"Good luck with _that_," Embry snickered. He stretched his legs out, as he sat on an old orange crate. "Dream on, man. This Bella is never gonna ignore that fact. It's like the number one rule of the female sex. _Never go out with a guy below your grade level." _

"How would you know, Embry? Have you ever even looked at a girl?" Quil taunted.

"I've got eyes ... and ears, Ateara," Embry huffed.

Quil clicked his tongue in disgust. "Collecting information, and experiencing it, are two different things, Call!"

"Look, guys ... chill, huh. I need advise not all this bickering."

Quil shook his head. "Advice? Here's some for ya—forget about her. There are way too many other flowers to buzz around ..." Then he added, looking up at the ceiling dreamily, "... just waiting to be pollinated."

If only it was that easy—I mean, you know—to forget her. I wasn't about to go out and _pollinate_ anybody either. I liked to think I was more discriminating than that. Taking the wrench that Quil was playing with, I lifted the hood to my half-built vehicle and dug in.

* * *

My dad and Charlie went fishing every weekend, but sadly I didn't see much of Bella at all, not that I blamed her. It was hard to admit, but as Quil so aptly pointed out, she probably had reservations about hangin' with a fourteen year old, but hey, in three more months I'd be fifteen.

Then one day, Embry, along with his ever-present shadow, Quil, came by to harass me again as usual. They marched right into my bedroom without knockin'. I had just gotten out of the shower, and was dressed in a towel.

Quil started pulling on my arm. "C'mon, man, you gotta get out more often. The sun's out. Let's go to First Beach. Maybe we'll meet some girls."

Embry slapped me on the back, and quickly grabbed the towel away, leaving me standing in my altogether. "Yeah, look at you, Jake. Your tan is fading."

They both laughed at that stupid joke—idiots!

Despite, my protests, they talked me into gettin' into some clothes and goin' with them to scope out the beach.

While we were there, we noticed a bunch of kids from Forks building a fire. Jeez, my pulse accelerated as soon as I saw that Bella was with them. There was some sandy colored blond buzzing around her like a human fly though. Damn, was that her boyfriend?

I wanted to run up and say hi, but I didn't want to humiliate myself by appearing too eager to see her. Between that, and being a freshman, there was no way I would embarrass her in front of all those juniors.

Bella had gotten up and went with a group to look at some tide pools, I guess. Quil, Embry and I decided to join the remaining group by the fire. After a little while, Bella returned, gave me a quick glance and smiled, then as usual, went about ignoring me. I remembered one of the girls made a comment about the Cullens. That's when Sam came up to the girl and out of nowhere remarked, "The Cullens don't come here".

Right after that comment, the strangest thing happened—Bella left her friends and made a beeline in my direction. I nearly swallowed my tongue. Was I hallucinating? She was definitely walking straight toward me. I looked to both sides. Nope, I was sure that she hadn't met Quil or Embry yet, so she had to be seeking me out—me!

"Hey, Jacob," she cooed.

Embry shot me an elbow to the ribs and quirked an eyebrow. Startled out of my daze, I stood up.

Bella looked up at me from under her eyelashes. Was I missing something here, or was she actually flirting with me? "Would you like to take a walk with me on the beach?"

After the paralysis left my tongue, I finally blurted, "Sure, sure." What else would I have said? I wanted to be alone with her in the worst way. I turned to my boys, and smirked. Quil threw a handful of sand at me, but I side-stepped it easily.

Remembering our last meeting, I was surprised that this time, the conversation flowed, especially when she started asking questions about our tribal legends—the superstitious nonsense of the _Cold Ones_ and the _Spirit Warriors_. Why were people so interested in scary stories? Bella, I thought was more serious minded and practical. Why of all people would she care? And yet here she was raptly attentive to my tales, and admittedly still flirting. Now, I didn't have much experience with girls—okay, so I didn't have _any_ experience with girls, but it sure seemed like it. At least I think she was flirting. Wasn't she?

* * *

Our time together was cut short when I heard rocks clattering under someone's feet. That blond guy had found us, and told Bella that their group was ready to leave, dammit. He stood a ways off, motioning to her to join him. I opened my mouth, yet afraid to hear the answer to my question, "Is that your boyfriend?"

My heart stilled, waiting on her reply.

An eye roll accompanied her response. "Oh my gosh, no."

My heartbeat picked up again. Yeah, hope once more sprang between the cracks of despair. The organ inside my chest thumped louder and faster as she added, "I'll come with Charlie more often, when he and Billy go fishing." And then, she winked at me! I was speechless; virtually glued to the spot as she turned, waving goodbye.

* * *

Returning to the spot where my two friends awaited, I was greeted with, "Wooh, Black! No denying it, that fine lady was giving you the eye!"

I was still stunned. "I'm as amazed as you are, Em. I can barely believe it. Do you think she was flirting with me?"

He got up from where he was sitting and tapped me on the arm. "No doubt about it. Who was she anyway?"

Quil shot up beside him, shoving Embry aside. "And more importantly, does she have a sister?"

Rubbing my nails upon the front of my windbreaker, I acknowledged, "That, my boys, was the girl I've been tellin' ya about."

"Shuuutt uuup! That's Bella?" Quil said, his brow wrinkling. "No wonder, your brain has been sorta foggy lately."

"Ya think?" I fired back. "Okay, guys, mission accomplished. I met a girl. How did you losers do?"

I hopped to quickly, and sprinted toward the road while my two buds tried to tackle me. They hooted and hollered all the way back to the house.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Peaks and Valleys

Disclaimer: owns Twilight

* * *

For several days following, all I could think about was that day at First Beach. And the guys thought my brain was foggy before? They didn't know the half of it. Then there were the nights! Pfft—every freakin' dream was filled with images of Bella. I tossed and turned as that pool of melted chocolate winked at me in my sleep. Her pink lips were calling to me, and god, when she bit down on that lower lip, my body tightened. I kept wakin' up, hot and bothered, if ya get my drift. I had a hopeless case of lovesickness, and there was but one cure I was sure of, if only I could pull the cork out of that _bottle_, and let some love pour out.

The days dragged on, and Billy wanted to spend some time at Charlie's. Could ya blame me for offering to take him? That day at the beach was forever branded into my brain. So I drove him over there. No big deal, right? Who was I kiddin'? I was dyin' to see that sweet girl again. No sooner had we pulled up, and got the wheelchair ready, than my ol' man spouted, "Hey, Charlie. Good thing your deputy wasn't around. Jacob, here, would've gotten a speeding ticket for sure. He was so anxious to see your Bella."

"Thanks, Dad," I muttered in humiliation.

Bella blushed and bowed her head. Meanwhile, I was lookin' around, searching for a hole to crawl into.

* * *

I thought that since our last meeting, she would be a little friendlier toward me, but, no. It was back to polite banter, awkward silence or just plain indifference. What the hell happened to the fluttering lashes, and her doe eyes boring into mine, hangin' on my every word? What could I do to make her notice me again?

No such luck. This time, Bella excused herself, claiming she had a ton of homework, and went to her room—alone. I was crushed! How could the girl run hot and cold like that? It didn't make any sense. I guessed it was one of those mysterious female things.

I heard through the La Push grapevine a few weeks later that Bella had a boyfriend, a rich, good lookin', pale-faced boyfriend. Mystery solved. I hadn't a chance in hell with her. He was a junior, two years older than me, and had a car that, by the way, did _not_ need a master cylinder, or a new paint job.

Somewhere around the middle of April, Charlie came over, wanting to vent to my dad. Look ... the conversation was about Bella, so don't be pointin' a finger at me for eavesdropping. It seems that Bella had a fight with Mr. Moneybags, packed her things and left the house. Sh**, I was dreaming 'bout the day she would give Richie Rich up, but now she left Forks? %$## *%$# !

Bella was gone? Truly gone? Even though I was well aware that she didn't return my feelings toward her, I would miss her somethin' awful. Maybe I didn't love her, but my heart was filled to bursting with somethin'. I think I cared enough about her to call it love, but what did I know? I had celebrated another birthday by this time, bit I was still only fifteen; did I really know what love felt like? Would I ever know for sure?

It was pitiful watchin' Charlie cry, but, jeez, I was about ready to join him. What was she thinkin'? That little girl had broken both our hearts. Then, to add to our sorrows, it turned out, that we learned in the following days that she was at Banner Good Samaritan Medical Center in Phoenix with a broken leg and other injuries.

A couple weeks later, Charlie told my dad that Bella had been released from the hospital. Much to my joy, Bella returned to live with Charlie; much to my _un-joy_, she was back with her freakin' boyfriend. That obstacle stood in the way of any hopes I had of bein' with the girl. Would I ever get to see her again?

* * *

May rolled around and I hardly got a glimpse of her, not that she would have paid any attention to me anyhow. Prom was on the horizon. At that time, my dad gave me the weirdest request. He actually wanted me to crash the prom, and deliver a message to Bella. He wanted her to break up with her guy. Whaaat? It was insane, but he promised me $20 to speak to her, and the financing for my desperately needed master cylinder for the '86 Volkswagen Rabbit I was rebuilding. I couldn't turn down the money, and so feeling like an idiot, I put on a white shirt, and—unbelievably—a tie, and showed up at the dance.

Cullen didn't seem too pleased to see me, and obviously I wasn't too happy to be there either. But after seeing Bella all dolled up, I felt like maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. Her hair was swept up in a bunch of curls on the top of her head, and she had on this softly flowing blue dress. The other girls were wearing showy dresses—by showy, I mean, you know ... the type that left a guy wondering what was underneath. They either clung to their curves or showed what the girls were made of, if you get my drift. Anyway the soft fabric felt nice under my hands, 'cuz, yeah—I actually cut in.

Man, this was the first time I had gotten a good look at her Romeo. Talk about a paleface! I had white sheets on my bed that had more color. Was he allergic to sunshine or what? The guy looked like he needed a blood transfusion in the worst way. And his eyes; they were so creepy. Who had eyes the color of French's yellow mustard? What did Bella see in him? I shook my head in amazement; I guess there's no accountin' for taste.

Bella was genuinely surprised to see me there, and even more surprised that she had to look up at me. I had grown some since the last time we were together. Her eyebrows rose an inch as she asked, "My gosh, Jacob, you've ... like, grown half a foot. How tall are you now?"

Hey, she noticed, did she? I grinned at her. "Six two," I answered, as I wrapped my arms around that tiny waist of hers. She reached up, placin' her hands at my neck. Whew! Her warm little hands felt perfect, like they belonged there. Was she feeling it too? Probably not, I thought. Ouch, the truth hurt, but no sense lyin' to myself.

She had on some light perfume, and the scent was goin' to my head. Between, the sweet fragrance and the feel of her touch, I was afraid someone would have to literally peel me off of her. I didn't want to let go, seein' as how I had never gotten this close to her before. Closing my eyes, I fantasized that she was my girl. Jeez, I was in heaven.

We danced ... well sort of. She was in a bulky leg immobilizer, and I was as klutzy as she was since my growth spurt. Swayin' to the music was more like it.

I was in a trance holding Bella in my arms, inhaling that Bella scent when she asked the inevitable, "So ... Jacob ... why exactly are _you_ here?" Lookin' down at my two left feet, she smiled and said, "It's obvious you're not here to dance."

My fragile bubble of ecstasy was immediately popped by her question. Ugh! I was forced to confess that I was sent here on a specific mission. I gazed into her chocolate pools and felt my knees struggling to hold me up. Those eyes got to me every time. My throat had just gone dry as the Sonoran desert; I swallowed a couple of times, trying to lubricate my tongue. After what seemed like an eternity, the words finally slipped out.

"Don't get mad now, okay? By the way, you sure look pretty tonight." Maybe that compliment would soften the blow. It was the truth anyhow.

I inhaled deeply, and let the air out in a slow stream. "Jeez ... here goes. Now, don't shoot the messenger. My dad paid me $20 to come here and ask you to break up with your boyfriend. He said, (here I let go of her waist and with my fingers, formed quotation marks in the air), "and I quote, _We'll be watching_." I hunched up my shoulders and winced in embarrassment as I finished my little speech.

I half expected her to slug me. Bella's temper was no big secret around these parts. Instead, she took it well and even smiled at me—there went my knees bucklin' again. Hell, she even thanked me. Whew, what a relief. I was sooo glad that torture was over.

The song ended. "You want to dance to this next number?" I asked, hoping to hang onto her a little longer. That's when Moneybags tapped me on the shoulder, and in a honey-smooth voice said, "I'll take it from here."

_Sh**, dream over, pal_. Back to the rez, and sleepless nights. Time was up. Her guy shoved me aside, so I stepped back, getting one last look at Bella. Edward was pulling her in the opposite direction, but she turned to me.

"Bye, Jacob."

Did she have to say, B_ye_? That seemed so final. Couldn't she have said, _See ya_? Not wanting to leave it at that, I replied, "Come see me some time. We can waste a few hours playin' video games."

I grinned at her even though the seams of my heart were unraveling. She smiled back at me, nodding at the inside joke. Edward gave me a scathing glance, which I ignored. I waved at Bella, and turning toward the exit, walked out the door, but hopefully not out of her life.

Things didn't change much. It was an uphill battle all the way; Bella Swan was beyond my reach. She apparently didn't take my dad's advice, and was essentially glued at the hip to Edward Cullen, her boyfriend. She was out of sight but not out of mind for the next four plus months. Mind you, I still had delusions that she'd give him the boot some day soon, and make way for the next man in her life, namely, one cute Quileute—me!

* * *

And so, the months slowly inched along, and I heard from my dad, that Bella's birthday was comin' up in the following week. I thought that would give me a good excuse to incidentally stop by Forks High School and wish her a happy birthday.

Brimming over with sentiment, but short on cash, I made her a small dream catcher. It was pretty pathetic but what the hell, I knew Bella didn't care about expensive gifts. Good thing too, 'cuz, wealth didn't exactly loom on the horizon of my immediate future.

I borrowed Embry's motor bike and sped off to Forks on September 13th, right before school started. I spotted her in the parking lot with her pale-faced boyfriend. I sauntered toward her while Edward backed away, but not 'til he flashed me a warning look. What did I care? Her face lit up with a smile as I closed the distance between us. Be still my heart; that smile was just for me.

"Jacob," she chirped. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, beautiful! I have it on the highest authority that this day is a special one—for me."

Her chocolate eyes widened, questioning me. "For you."

I couldn't hold back my grin a second longer, and it broke out all over my lips. "Well, yeah ... on this very day, eighteen years ago, you came into the world and made _my world_ that much brighter." In the background, I caught a glimpse of Moneybags. He was rolling those weird lookin' mustard colored eyes of his. Okay, so the line was corny and lame as all get out. See if he could do any better on such short notice. Give me a break; I was adlibbing here. Not very good adlibbing, but still ...

I reached into my jacket pocket, and pulled out the dream catcher, dangling it in front of her face. "Brought you a birthday present."

Dropping it into her outstretched palm, I explained, "This will catch all the bad dreams, so only the good ones can slip through and enter your mind."

Her eyes shone with wonder. "Oh, Jacob, it's beautiful. Thank you. Did you make this yourself?"

I put my hands in my pockets and nodded smugly.

The school bell rang, and Bella had to get to class. Before she turned to go, she reached up on tiptoe and with her arms about my neck, gave me an appreciative hug. I kissed her cheek, and said, "Happy birthday, Bella."

Edward swept her away from my grasp, and gave me a look that could wither an oak tree. As they walked to the school, I overheard Colonel Mustard complain, "So, Jacob Black gets to give you a birthday present? How is that fair to me?"

Swe-eeet! Bella accepted my gift but refused to let paleface give her one. Just goes to show ya, money can't buy you love. I watched her receding figure, then hopped on the bike and scrambled back to La Push. I'd be late for class, but this was sooo worth it!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: A Truckfull of Hope

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

**A/N:Thank you to my beta, WolfGirl Cheri who takes the time to scrutinize each and every line.**

* * *

Then it happened. My dad got a call from Charlie. He was in a panic. Bella was missing. Missing—as in he couldn't locate her? He was a freakin' cop for Pete's sake, and he couldn't find out where she was?

The first thing that sprang into my brain was that she had run off with that Cullen guy. Nah, she would never leave her dad high and dry. Bella was down to earth and took her responsibilities seriously. She was living with Charlie now, and he needed her. She wouldn't do that. It would be against her nature. So the other explanation was that something awful had happened. Hell, the list of horrors waltzed in and out of my head, one worse than another. Dad called the guys together, and we all beat it over to the Swan residence.

The search was already underway, and I was delegated to stay by Charlie's cruiser out of the way of Sam and his cohorts. I swear, I must've worn a path into the ground with my pacing. Where was she? Where would she go? Did that Cullen guy do something to her? I knew that for some reason, my dad harbored a deep distrust of him. Maybe he knew something that I didn't. It made my blood run cold. Was she lying somewhere hurt and bleeding at his hands?

My nerves were stretched to the limit, my heart frantically pounding so loud I could hear it thumping clear up into my ears. As each hour dragged on by, my imagination exploded with the possibilities that could have befallen her. Bella wasn't exactly poised and agile. She was a klutz, which was one of her endearing charms. But what if her klutziness caused her to trip and fall, hitting her head? God, why did I have to think of _that_?

It was nearly midnight. I looked at the fear in my father's eyes, and Bella's dad was close to tears. At this point I was beyond emotion: I was numb, and exhausted from the strain. The search party was ready to call it a night, and was waiting for Charlie to give the word, when Sam walked out of the tree line carrying a limp form close to his chest. To my relief, it was Bella. I wanted to rush to her side, but Dad held me back. Charlie would see to her; he told me not to interfere.

* * *

From that day in September clear until the end of January, I didn't get to see a hair on Bella's head. I'm tellin' ya, I was in withdrawal. The only news I got about her was from eavesdropping on the conversations between Charlie and Dad over the phone. Apparently, Charlie didn't want to leave the house to come visit us. I guess Bella was in pretty bad shape. I overheard my dad saying, she wasn't eating, or talking or even hangin' out with friends anymore since her boyfriend left. Man, that jerk musta really done a number on her. It was almost as if he had her hypnotized or somethin'.

Thinking about it though, I couldn't understand her reaction. Seein' as how Bella had this bad temper, she should've been madderin' hell at him for leaving her alone and broken in the damn forest. She was lucky she wasn't eaten by a freakin' bear. Instead of wallowing all catatonic-like, she could be wreaking revenge ... however girls do that. Maybe she could send him hate notes by email or better yet, make him jealous by hanging all over another guy, like yours truly. I'd gladly volunteer for _that_ cause; hell, I'd even pay for the privilege.

What was really frustrating was my dad telling Charlie that he didn't think it was a good idea for me to go over there. Not a good idea? For who? Maybe I could help ease her out of the doldrums. Charlie had to have asked him several times for me to come visit. Stubborn ol' man wouldn't budge. What was his deal anyway? This was his best friend's daughter for Pete's sake. If my presence would help her round the corner, why wouldn't he at least let me try? It just might do the trick, not to mention what it would do to my psyche. I was hurting too. Believe me, not being able to see her, and worrying about what she was going through, wasn't doin' my health any favors either. I bet we'd both benefit from the contact; I knew I would.

Anyway, I suffered along with Bella all those months, not in silence however. The boys and my dad were equally assaulted by my whining about my lack of Bella time. Finally, that stalemate broke one day. I was out in the Taj, rearranging my toolbox, when Dad wheeled out the back door of the house, and shouted at me. It sounded like, "You have a visitor on the way. It's Bella. Embry just called; he spotted her truck."

What? I couldn't believe it! I was about ready to do a cartwheel. Then I realized, whoa, hold on a minute ... how did I hear him from that distance?

It seemed like my hearing and vision were growing sharper every day. Not only that, but since I last saw her, I had sprouted up another three inches and really packed on the pounds—all muscle too. There was no way the girl could possibly ignore me now. Could she?

* * *

As soon as I heard the familiar rumble of the ol' Chevy, you better believe I was racin' out the door of the Taj to greet her. The minute she stepped down from the cab, I had her swept up into my arms. Forgetting about her personal space, I hugged her to my chest and swung her in a circle. I was that glad to see her.

My euphoria was short lived when I could actually feel how fragile she had become. Here I was erupting muscles like a spewing volcano while she was shrinking away to a whisper of herself.

"Jacob," she squeaked, "I can't breathe."

Jeez, I'd forgotten my own strength. I loosened my grip on her tiny frame, planted her two little feet onto the ground, and mumbled apologetically, "Oh, right ... sorry. It's just—I can't believe it's you. You're here; you're actually here."

Wait up—it suddenly dawned on me. _Why_ was she here? She came without Charlie. She hadn't called or visited in the last four and a half months, and then, poof! She showed up one day unannounced. Something was cookin', but did I really care? In the blink of an eye, I decided, nah, as long as I got to spend my time with her, so what?

She backed up from me slowly and that's when I got a good look at her. Bella was a wreck—no sense in mincing words. The color in her cheeks was gone, the light in her eyes extinguished, and her clothes hung on her as if they belonged to someone else. What the hell happened to her? Where did _my_ Bella go? She definitely needed repair work—a lot of it. Lucky for her, I had the time and the inclination to do that work. Patience was one of my virtues. I'd start right in on it now.

Biting on her lip—god no, not the lip again—she struggled to get the words unglued from the tip of her tongue.

I eyed her, and said, "C'mon, Bella, you're getting' all worked up to say somethin'. So, just spit it out already. It's me, Jake"

She averted her eyes, looking down at her sneakers. "Um ... You work with cars, right?"

"Yeah, so."

Well, I came across two motorcycles that need help and being that you're a mechanic and all—"

Light bulb moment. "You'd figured I could fix them for you?"

"Well, that is, if you're willing to. I could pay you for the work."

Insulting, that's what it was. Where did she get off tellin' me that she'd pay for my work? Wasn't I a friend? Didn't friends do things for each other? Anyway, I'd pay _her_ just to have her sit in my garage and talk to me.

One thing confused me though, when the hell did Ms. Clumsy become interested in those death machines? And did Charlie know? Unlikely ... Damn if he ever got wind of it, both our heads would be served on a platter. There was no way he would let her set her hind end on one of those. Did she have a death wish? It was a toss up as to which would kill her first, the bike or her dad.

I shifted my weight to one foot, and scratched the back of my head. "Okay, so let me get this straight. You have two motorcycles you want me to restore to their former glory. And I'm assumin' Charlie's in the dark about it, right?"

She started back to the truck. "You don't have to do this, Jacob. I just thought since you like to tinker around with cars and stuff ..."

Taking two long strides, I caught up with her, grabbing her wrist. I turned her toward me. "Hold on, did you hear me say I wouldn't do it?"

Her face reflected the slightest hint of animation. "Then you will? You'll do it?"

"Sure, sure. Just bring 'em on by sometime."

"Um ... the thing is, I've got them with me. They're in the back of the truck."

* * *

I dragged her with me to unload them. I honestly had never seen a bigger pile of rusted, mangled metal in my life. Where did she dig up these ancient beasts—under some Aztec pyramid? Maybe I shouldn't have said yes so quickly. Ah, the hell with it, it'd be a challenge all right, but the good part was I'd get to see more of Bella.

As I lifted the first banged-up heap and set it outside the truck, I felt her eyes rake over me. I craned my neck and noticed Bella standing there, with her mouth open. "Whaaat?" I asked.

"Nothing ... no, I mean ... how did you do that? That thing is like ... heavy—really heavy. When did you sprout all these muscles? Are you taking growth hormones or what?"

I laughed at her little comments. "You know if you would just come around more often, my metamorphosis wouldn't seem so drastic. And no, I am not takin' hormones. I have more than enough of my own, thank you very much." _Yeah, and you seem to bring them out in the worst way!_

I unloaded the second poor excuse for a bike. I used the term _bike_ loosely. It resembled something more like a twisted weathervane that had been struck by lightning—twice.

We walked the crippled vehicles to the Taj, sneaking them the long way around to avoid Dad's eagle eyes. Bella didn't want the news getting back to Charlie, and we both knew how our two dads gossiped back and forth like a couple of old women. There were no secrets between those two ... at least not yet.

When the hopeless metal hunks were stowed safely in the garage, Bella peered up at me. "How tall are you now, Jacob?"

"6'5", pretty impressive, huh?"

She shrugged her tiny shoulders. "Maybe to some girls."

Ouch! I plopped down on the old couch in the corner of the Taj. How did she always seem to shoot me down like that? "Damn, Bells, what do I havta do to impress you?"

She ran her tongue around the inside of her mouth, thinking. "Oh, so now it's Bells, is it?" She held out her palm to stop my apology. "It's okay. You know that's what Charlie calls me. But to answer your question ... you get those bikes in running order, and I'll be _very_ impressed."

I sprang up from the couch and grabbed a tarp that was folded, lying against the wall. "Let's get started then, but first I need to get one thing clear—I can't take your money."

"Well, I can't let you do all this work for free. How about this ...? You can keep one of the bikes for yourself."

I gave her a high five. "You've got yourself a deal, girl." _But I can think of other ways to collect payment for my services, if only you'd let me. _

I dropped the tarp in the middle of the Taj and walking over to my work bench, reached into a paper sack sittin' under it. Pulling out two cans of root beer, I popped the tops, and handing one to Bella, clinked my can to hers in a toast. "Here's to another life!"

Bella looked at me, puzzled. "For the bikes," I explained.

The root beer wasn't too warm, considering it was actually a sunny day. The temperature in the garage was cool, and there was no heating in there, but even if the soda wasn't that cold, Bella didn't complain. As I took a gulp, I seriously scrutinized my partner in crime. No doubt about it, the bikes were a shadow of what they once were, but even so, Bella's condition looked far worse, like she'd been run over by a proverbial truck.

I had every confidence in my mad mechanical skills; I could break down and rebuild a carburetor with my eyes closed. I wondered though, could I repair a shattered heart?

We spread out the tarp, and I began to disassemble one of the bikes, handin' every piece to Bella. She placed each one on the plastic square and lapsed into silence.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: In The Taj

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

Bella was exasperatingly quiet ... I mean you know ... she was always kinda quiet, but jeez, now it was like pulling teeth to get a word outta her. Good thing I was a nonstop chatterbox, or the air would be minus _any_ conversation. As patient as I was, even I got tired of her one word responses. So to fill the Taj up with some other noise besides my _breeaaathing_, I turned on the radio. That got her attention but fast. She actually stood up and turned it off—without bothering to ask me if it was okay! There was a good song on too. I was really getting worried about her. Was she afraid to listen to music now?

I peered over my shoulder at her. "What's the matter, Bells? Why'd you turn that off? You know, if you didn't like the song, you could've just changed the station."

She shrugged her shoulders, and bit her bottom lip—again_. Damn, girl, would you please stop doing that? Have mercy, for Pete's sake._

"I don't really listen to music anymore. It gets on my nerves," she explained.

What kind of an explanation was that? I didn't get it, but what the hell ... she wasn't making any sense at all today. First she brings me a truckload of rusted old scrap metal and then she doesn't like music? Who doesn't like music? Bella Swan, apparently.

"Okaaaay ... no more music. So, what've you been up to lately?"

I was making what I considered polite conversation, but man, you would've thought I'd asked her a personal question, like _What's your bra size_ or somethin'. Jeez, then I got to thinkin', _I wonder ... oh god, don't go there, Jake. _Crap, my mind was drifting into dangerous waters.

Anyway, she'd turned several shades paler if that was even possible. Man, she looked pretty distressed, and put her arms around her chest like her heart was about to fall out of her rib cage. What did I say to bring on _that_ reaction? She looked so vulnerable—a wounded doe came to mind. God, I wanted to fold her up into my arms, and protect her, even if it was from herself. Bella needed someone to hold her up and tell her everything was gonna be all right. I hoped that someone would be me some day.

I felt bad ... I didn't mean to upset her. Okay, forget what I said. I changed the subject in a hurry. _Think, Jacob, think!_

_I've got it ..._ I knew there was no way in hell that fragile little Bella Swan would have the slightest idea how to ride a motorcycle. So, with one hand patting what was left of the first chassis I asked her, "You don't exactly know how to ride one of these motorized beasts, do you?"

The viselike grip she had on her mid section loosened slightly. She looked down at the garage floor and shuffled her feet nervously. "Um ... not really. I was hoping you could give me some lessons?

Sweeeet ... a whole freakin' sentence greeted my ears. I was beginning to wonder if she'd forgotten how to talk. Charlie told my dad that she wouldn't start any conversations, and only spoke when someone asked her a direct question.

I turned myself ninety degrees to face her. Her color had improved, but not by much. It was now back to that sickly grey hue, if you call that an improvement.

"Sure, sure," I told her. "I can teach you. When I get these bikes runnin' I'll give you a call, and we can start in on Motorcycling 101." I smiled, but she showed no emotion whatsoever.

* * *

With her sitting beside me on an old wooden crate, I continued removing parts from the bike. I named each piece, and described its function to her. Bella organized them on the tarp. This couldn't have been entertaining in the least to a girl—let alone a girl as depressed as she was. And so I blurted, "Hey, Bells, we don't havta sit here like a couple of vultures picking at these bones. Do you wanna do somethin' else?"

She gazed at me blankly for a flickering moment. "Like what?"

Crap, I was hopin' she would tell _me_. I scrunched up my face, wracking my brain. "Well ..." Music was out, video games—out, movies—out; my dad being glued to the TV set in the living room. Let's see now, what did girls like to do? Oh no, I wasn't about to paint her fingernails. Bella wasn't the hair gelling, lipstick wearing, nail polishing girly-girl type anyhow.

Thinking about that glorious day when she couldn't stop battin' her long lashes at me, I crossed my fingers behind my back and asked, "You wanna take a walk with me on the beach?"

This time she maintained some eye contact with me. _There's a first_. "Maybe next time," she replied softly.

_That_ I could live with. _That_ at least was encouraging; there was actually gonna _be_ a next time.

"Are you sayin' you're gonna be back here again watchin' me play, _Name this part_?"

Her lips upturned in a half-hearted smile. "Sure, I'll be back tomorrow and every day after until you get sick of me hanging around."

Was she kiddin' me? There was no chance of _that_! I could almost feel my body starting to float heavenward. _Houston, we have lift-off_. I only hoped I didn't crash land. Barely beginning to hover, my imaginary balloon popped. Bella hauled me back down to earth with, "I better go. Charlie will be home soon. I should get dinner started."

That being said, she rose from the wooden crate, and turned to leave.

Damn, did he really havta eat?

I stood up and after dusting off my jeans, walked Bella to her truck. She got in as I waved goodbye. Rolling down her window, she stuck her head out. "Tomorrow at 3:30?"

I stood there like an idiot with my hands in my pockets. "All right, then. You know where to find me."

The old wheezing truck pulled out onto the road. I returned to the garage, whistling all the way and finished pickin' off the remaining pieces from the bike frame.

* * *

That same night, Embry and Quil dropped by coincidentally (yeah, right). They dove in immediately to grill me about the red truck that was noticeably parked in my yard for the whole afternoon.

"Bella Swan, huh?" Quil goaded, his smirk taunting me to knock it off his face. Man, was I ever tempted too. He was leaning against the Rabbit just waiting for my reaction.

I kept my cool though. He was just jealous, seein' as he thinks himself to be such a chick magnet.

Embry was sitting on the tarp helping to separate some of the parts from the second bike. Then he piped up, "You can't deny it. We got eyes. That was her truck in your yard. I recognized the clunker from a mile away, not to mention I could hear that loud engine rumbling clear down the street." He demonstrated the truck's slow motion by bouncing his hand up and down in front of him, and following with his head bobbing in sync. Then quirking an eyebrow he smugly added, "What were you two doing out here in your garage ... alone ...all that time, as if we didn't know?"

I put on my most menacing look to warn the two idiots to back off.

"Yeah, as if," Quil interjected. "C'mon, Jake, don't be like that. We know she got dumped by her boyfriend, plus we saw how she flit around you that day at the beach. And we all know how you're stuck on her, so spill already. You can tell us. We're your best friends. Now give us all the details." He jiggled his head in anticipation.

I got up, wiped my hands off on a rag, and began to pace. "Guys—there _are_ no details, 'cuz it's not like that. Bella is a friend that just happens to be a girl. So that makes her a girl-friend. Get it?"

"Whatever you say, man," Quil snorted.

What more could I say to convince them that nothing happened? I pointed a finger at Quil. "For your information, I was doin' her a favor. We were doin' exactly what we're doin' at this moment—taking a bike apart."

Embry glanced at Quil and winked. "Sure, Jake, we believe you. You were doin' her—a favor."

Quil moaned her name aloud, "Bella Swan ... mmn, mmn. Oh, honey—don't stop, don't stop."

That did it. I chased him around the Rabbit, while Embry hooted at him in encouragement. "Go, Quil, go!"

* * *

When the gruesome twosome left, I went inside and made dinner for Dad and myself. My father kept his eyes on me the whole time. Jeez, I didn't know anyone could stare that long without blinking. I placed the food on the table and sat down across from him, trying not to meet those all seeing eyes. He cleared his throat loudly. Damn, here it comes—words of wisdom from the _great one_—aka, Billy Black.

"You and Bella were alone together for a long time today," he commented dryly.

I started in on dinner, concentrating on cutting into my fried chicken to avoid his penetrating gaze. "Yeah, so?"

He took a sip of his drink, and continued. "So, how did she seem to you?"

"You know ... quiet, shy, not too—I don't know—lively."

I could feel his eyes burning a hole through my head. "Not too lively, eh?"

I put my fork down, and sighed. "She was a walking corpse, Dad, all right? She looked like hell, and acted like she was in hell, too."

"I see."

Okay, I was steeling myself for the kernel of truth he was gettin' ready to lob at me. And I had a feeling I already knew where this conversation was goin'. Hormone control—as if I would ever force myself on her, especially in _her_ condition.

His mouth formed an "O" as he got ready to deliver his lecture. "You know, Charlie is beside himself. He doesn't know what to do to help her. Coming here today was a big step for Bella; maybe even a giant step toward her recovery. Now, I'm not blind—yet. I see how your eyes light up every time you're around her. But Bella is my best friend's daughter, and I'm cautioning you that even though she may look to you for comfort, I don't believe she's anxious to start up another relationship so soon after her breakup. She's really fragile right now, so I expect you to control yourself, and act the responsible person I know you are. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Jeez, why didn't he just come right out and tell me to _keep it in my pants_. "Sure, sure, Dad. I'd never do anything to hurt her. I'm not that stupid."

Dad smiled at me. "Good, because I'd hate to punish you for being in love."

Was Dad right? Was I in love with her? How could I tell for sure?

I leaned back further into the chair, and flipped my hair over my shoulder. "Hey, Dad, can I ask you somethin'? How do you know if you're really in love with a girl?"

"That's a tough one, Son." He placed his hand over his chest. "The heart can be deceptive sometimes, so I would say that when you care more about the needs of the other person rather than yourself—that's love. Putting another's desires above your own can be hard, but it also shows maturity. And well, I guess that's what real love is all about."

We ate the rest of our dinner without another word. I cleaned up the kitchen, and helped my dad shower and got him in bed. That night I pondered the words of my father. How'd he get so smart? I stared up at the cracks in the ceiling. I figured that for now, I'd be Bella's friend no matter how much I wanted it to be more. She needed me to be there for her, to wipe away her hurt, and like Dad said, I should put her needs first. And after all that, maybe the day would come when I would know for sure that she was the one, and hopefully Bella would feel the same way about me.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Look, but Don't Touch

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

A/N: Thanks to WolfGirl Cheri for giving this chapter the once over.

* * *

School was more of a drag than usual. Lunch was the only thing that I had to look forward to—that and gettin' home so I could see Bella again. There were a few girls in my classes that were always making goo goo eyes at me, but nah ... no chemistry there. I hated to be a meanie by ignoring them, but let's face it; I only had eyes for Bella.

I ran home after school let out and took a shower—'cuz nothing could put a bigger cramp in your style than a freakin' whiff of eau de teenage boy BO. Soooo, I made sure to put on plenty of deodorant. Then I shaved. Hey, don't laugh; I did have a few whiskers on my chin.

Dad was in the kitchen, carving some trinkets to sell at the souvenir shop that Embry's mom owned. I shouted to him as I raced out the back door. "I'll be out in the garage if you need anything. Bella's comin' over to help me tinker with the Rabbit."

"Make sure that's all you tinker with," I overheard him mutter.

Jeez, nothing like a little parental trust, huh? I hadn't had any girl trouble so far. You'd think he'd remember that. Besides, with Charlie bein' a police chief and all, I'd be stupid to try any funny business with his only daughter. I figured he had a .45 at his disposal too, and I was highly allergic to lead, if ya get my drift_. I'm only kiddin'. He wouldn't really shoot me ... would he? _

My heart started pounding as soon as I heard the sound of her truck's engine thundering outside the garage. I tried to contain my enthusiasm; after all, I didn't wanna scare her or anything, so I nonchalantly sauntered toward the door. Ah, the hell with it, my plan was useless; I gave up and lit out into the yard.

It was like a déjà vu of yesterday. Number one: I noticed the sound of the truck. Number two: I actually saw the truck. Number three: I raced toward the truck. Number four: I grabbed Bella as she got out of the truck. Number five: I hugged her tightly to my chest. Number six: I squeezed the livin' daylights out of her. Number seven: I listened as she squealed, _Can't breathe Jake_. Number eight: I Put Bella down. Number nine: I apologized profusely for squashing her lungs. Number ten: I Grinned like a fool, 'cuz she was here to see me!

* * *

We walked to the Taj—well, she walked—I bounced.

"Oh my gosh," she gasped, as she saw the progress I had made on the bikes. They were totally stripped, and ready to reassemble ... almost.

The wind had done a number on my hair as I flew from the Taj to get to her. I shook some loose strands away from my face, and re-banded them out of my way, as I told her, "It's gonna take a while to get these babies runnin' again. Some of these parts are shot to hell. Might cost a bit too."

She still looked like crap, but at least the problem of financing this project didn't seem to change her expression. In fact, it didn't seem to faze her at all. "I've got it covered, Jake. Don't worry about it."

Bella stared at the bike skeletons in awe. "I still can't believe you did all this. I mean ... you're what ... like fifteen? Now, I _am_ impressed."

_Sigh ... she still sees me as the kid_. "Sixteen, I'm sixteen. You missed my birthday a couple of weeks ago."

"Oh."

_Dammit, Bells, is that all you have to say?_ I was kinda hopin' for a more enthusiastic response. Sigh ... again.

Bella nodded, her head turning about, taking in all the corners of the garage. "So what are we doing today?" she asked innocently. I thought of what Embry had said about doin' her. God, I could throttle him for putting that idea in my head. _Why do guys have to have these freakin'_ _hormones?_ I did a one eighty, and pictured the barrel of a smokin' .45.

I hopped up onto the hood of my Rabbit, setting my rear down. "Well, 'til we get to the junk yard to scrounge for some parts, there's not much I can do here. You wanna go junkin' this Saturday?" Yeah, that would give me an excuse to see her that day too. My creativity was amazing.

"Sure, I guess so," she answered quietly.

"Let's go to the beach then, huh? And tomorrow, you can help me make a list of what parts need to be replaced."

She backed away from me, as I jumped down from my perch. I reached out for her hand, but she took another step back. That move on her part stung a little, but I sucked it up. It was too soon; I could see that. _Slow but steady wins the race_. But what was the harm in holding her hand?

* * *

When we got to the truck, I put out my palm for the keys. Bella looked at me like I was crazy.

"I'll drive," I said. I was the guy; I couldn't see her drivin' me around like I was a pathetic invalid or somethin'. It would be humiliating.

Her eyebrows raised a couple of inches. "Do you even have a license?" she asked.

"Bells," I asserted, trying to convince her. "I told you—I'm sixteen now. I _do_ have a license. But that's beside the point. We're on the rez; I've been drivin' around here since I was thirteen. Jeez, don't tell Charlie I said that ... Anyway, who do you think did all the drivin' when we visited your house?" I tilted my head to one side, and gave her my puppy dog eyes. Maybe that would soften her up. "So, can I have the keys now?"

Her mouth was drawn into a tight line. She wasn't backin' down, that was for sure. "I'm driving today. You can drive next time."

Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn. At least she was talkin' to me though.

With a roll of my eyes, I got in the passenger side, hopin' none of my buds would see me. I was sixteen for cryin' out loud.

* * *

The sky was overcast, but the rain hadn't started yet. We walked along the beach and as usual, I did most of the talkin'. I tried to stay clear of any obstacles in our way, knowing Bella was notorious for her frequent ER visits. Since I put on the muscle, my balance was A-OK. I felt like her bodyguard, and with her reputation for freakin' accidents, she really needed one. I don't mean to brag—but hey, I fit the bill perfectly.

I pulled my hoodie over my head. The wind was startin' to pick up, "How's school goin'?" I asked.

"It's good—which reminds me, I can't let you get behind in your studies. We're going to have to fit homework in there somewhere. I don't want Billy thinking that I'm a bad influence on you."

What a laugh. "Phtt! Like you could influence me ..."

"I'm older than you, Jacob. So that means I have to be a good example."

"Look, Bella, just 'cuz you're a little older than me—"

"Nearly two and a half years older," she rebutted.

Now, I was gettin' a teensy bit defensive. "It's not the years, honey, it's the experience. I've got it all over you. I've taken care of my dad now since I was eleven. I do all the cleaning, and the cookin', the repairs—not to mention I can put a motorbike together blindfolded."

"All right, I'll give you a couple of years for that. But I do all the cooking, cleaning and taking care of my father too."

Maybe I was too sensitive, but little brother status wasn't something I aspired to. I wanted Bella to see me as her equal. I stopped, and touching the sleeve of her coat, chided, "Why are you so hung up on our age difference?"

"I never said I was."

"You didn't say it, but that's what vibes you're sendin' me. They're just numbers, Bella. They don't mean anything."

She folded her arms across her chest. "Okay, I give up. You're 35, and I'm 40."

I won—kinda. She was still older than I was, though. She shook her head in exasperation. But then the head shake became full-blown shivering.

"You cold?" Duh ... That was a no-brainer.

"Freezing." She began rubbing her hands together and blowing on them.

I reached both arms out toward her. "Give 'em here. You want me to warm 'em up for ya?" Well, hey, I had to try, right?

"No, I'm fine." Turning away, she shoved her hands in her pockets. Okaaay ... that went over well.

Man, she had every freakin' defensive tactic in the book. I glanced up at the sky, hiding my hurt feelings. "Looks like the clouds are gonna start unloadin' on us. I guess we may as well head back."

* * *

I hurried out of the truck and went to the driver's side, eager to help her down. My hands were at her waist as I eased her to the ground. She brushed my hands away as soon as she was planted. You'd think I had cooties. Hell, I just wanted to feel her in my arms. So, I'm a touchy, feely, kinda person—so what?

I lost my mom when I was six years old. I wondered if that was why I craved human contact. Maybe I didn't get enough when I was little. At any rate, I longed for Miss Stubborn to touch me, or at least let me touch her. Sure, my boys were always touching me, but it wasn't the same. Theirs was the playful, gotcha in a headlock, rough house type of touching—or should I say, punching, thumping, and knocking each other into oblivion. What I needed was a woman's gentle fingertips on my skin. Correction, that would be Bella's fingertips strokin' my skin.

We walked side by side into the Taj. I strutted straight to my pride and joy—my Volkswagen Rabbit. I lifted the hood and motioned Bella to stick her head inside with me. "All I need is a new carburetor and a set of windshield wipers."

She craned her neck to look at me. "Gosh, Jake. You rebuilt this all by yourself?"

Pleased with her reaction, I crowed, "Yup!" making sure to pop the "P".

Finally, there was the tiniest hint of a smile on her lips. And I put it there.

I grinned back at her, basking in her praise. Then, in my idiotic attempt to stretch her smile a little wider, I pointed my finger at a particular part that she might be interested in. "Remember the day I crashed your prom and told you about the master cylinder my dad promised me. Well, there it is."

Her face went chalk-white and she crept backward, away from the car. Her arms immediately circled her middle, and the smile vanished. That was the second time I saw her do that. What the hell ...?

Crap, me and my big mouth! I had to bring up the prom. How stupid could I possibly be? One step forward; two steps back. _Great job, Jake_.

Her words came out slightly above a hush. "I think I better go. Charlie will be home soon."

I was in a panic. Why, oh why did I have to bring up the prom? Would that slip up keep her away now? I had to fix this in a hurry. "Wait, don't go yet. We have to plan how to do our homework. You don't want me to be irresponsible, do you?"

* * *

She sat next to me on the couch, and we discussed when and how we could work on our assignments. I was my usual charming self, and managed to pick up her mood. Bella even laughed once or twice when I told her about the stuff that went on at the school. I stopped my entertaining monologue when I heard a car pull up and peered out the garage door. It was pouring outside but I could make out Charlie's cruiser. My dad wheeled out onto the back patio and yelled to us, "Come and get it, kids. Spaghetti for everyone."

"Hey, Bells, looks like you're stayin' for supper."

We made a mad dash toward the house. Bella slid on the wet grass, and I caught her before she face planted. I held onto her hand and this time, she gripped mine tightly. We were both breathless and laughing as we reached the back door. Charlie spied us, and his face lit up to see his daughter _alive_ once more—and holding my hand.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: A Girl-Friend

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

A/N: Thanks WolfGirl Cheri for being my beta bud.

* * *

All I could think about was how her hand fit into mine, and how she had clung to it. The feel of her soft skin sent bolts of electricity down my spine. God, I had waited so long for that one small gesture. But when we walked through the kitchen, I knew that was the end of it. It was so hard to let go. It was even harder to say goodbye when dinner was done. I felt empty when her truck followed Charlie's cruiser back to Forks. Telling myself that she'd be coming back tomorrow was the only thing that kept me from goin' stark ravin' mad. Okay, so maybe that was a _slight_ exaggeration, but jeez _... Bella Swan, you're killin' me._

* * *

I paid attention in school today. Maybe applyin' myself and being responsible would make me look better in her eyes. It was still all I could do to stay in my seat waitin' for the freakin' bell to ring though.

As soon as I heard the rumble of that truck, my heartbeat picked up its rpms. This time as she got out of the old Chevy, she actually smiled and seemed to be glad to see me. I blabbed nonstop all the way into the Taj. But when I tried to take her hand, she slyly sidestepped my attempt. Ah hell, looked like we were back to square one again.

We were going over the bike parts that needed replacing when my boys waltzed in. Great—just great. They both stopped short, their heads jerking in surprise to see a girl in my hallowed man cave_. Please don't embarrass me in front of_ _Bells ... pleeeaaaase!_

Quil winked at Bella and blurted, "Hey, man, I didn't realize you had company of the female persuasion in here." Was that drool oozing from his lips?

What a liar! There was no way they missed seein' her truck parked outside. Who did they think they were foolin'? I was onto their game; they just wanted to see for themselves that I really had a girl in here—the nosey idiots.

I was trapped, so against my will, I was forced to introduce the gruesome twosome to my female companion. "Embry, this is Bella. Bella ... Embry."

Bella looked up at him, and smiling, nodded at my buddy.

Quil stepped in front of my _friend_ and took her hand. "Don't strain yourself, Jake. I got it." He put on this ridiculous expression, supposedly to make him look suave, and slobberin' all over her knuckles, said, "Glad to meet you, dollface. I'm Quil ... Quil Ateara.".

He jerked his head toward me and asked, "So, how long have you been Jake's girlfriend?"

Her eyebrows shot up about a foot, and she glanced at me, puzzled. I wanted to creep off silently and hide under the Rabbit.

"Um ... we're friends," she replied, chuckling nervously.

"That's not what I heard," Quil responded.

_Dammit, Quil, I'm gonna yank that tongue out of your big mouth, and strangle you with it_. "Guys, remember I told you, she's a friend who just happens to be a girl. So that makes her a girl-friend."

Quil smirked, "I don't seem to remember that particular distinction, my man."

Embry drew a puff of air between his teeth, making a hissing noise. "Ooh ... buuurn!" he brayed.

Crap, I was really gettin' irritated now. "Don't you guys have somewhere else you need to be?"

Embry turned to Quil and said, "I don't think so, do you? We're comfortable right where we are. Whaddya say, Quil, aren't you comfortable here?"

"Very."

Maybe those two morons were comfortable, but I could tell that Bella didn't feel the same way. She was fidgetin' in her seat and stood up, I'm sure, to leave. Damn these two. I'm gonna kill them both ...

"I'm probably taking up too much of your time, Jake. You need to be with your friends. They should be able to spend time with you too. I don't want to get in the way of that. I'm going to go, okay?"

Panic ... panic ... I extended my palm out toward her. "No, Bells, wait! It's no problem, is it guys?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Embry agreed, "Hell no, Bella, we don't bite."

Wiggling his eyebrows, Quil muttered, "Speak for yourself, Em."

Then, he opened his mouth—again. "Yeah, why don't you stay awhile? It's nice to have some girl's pretty face to look at instead of Jake's ugly mug."

Speakin' of faces ... hers took on a shade of red that a tomato would be envious of. I wanted to reach out and touch her cheek to see how hot it was. Not that I didn't already think she was hot! Okay, so I was diggin' myself in deeper, sigh ...

"Wooh," Embry marveled. "Look at her blush!"

I had enough embarrassment for one day. I walked toward them, with bodily harm on my mind. "That's it—you guys are out of here."

"It's all right, Jake. I need to go. See you tomorrow." She waved, and slipped out the door.

As soon as she left, Quil hooted, "Tomorrow, huh?"

I instantly had Quil in a headlock, as I _instructed_ him, "If you so much as step one toe onto my property tomorrow, you'll be sorry you were ever born."

"Girl-friend, my foot," Embry grumbled.

I released my grip on Quil's neck. He rubbed the back of it, complaining, "What ever happened to bros before hoes?"

I fisted my hand, wavin' it in front of his face. "You want some of this? Bella is not a ho. Now are you guys gonna help me with the inventory here, or just stand around flappin' your gums?"

Embry shook his head sorrowfully. "Jeez, you got it bad, pal."

Glaring at him, I bellowed, "Just shut up and dig in. I'm makin' a list of parts I need so she and I can go to the junk yard in the morning."

"Can we come too?"

"N.O."

Embry's eyes met Quil's, perfectly executing an obnoxious roll. At the same time he nudged Quil in the ribs with his elbow.

They both huffed in defeat and sat on the tarp, sifting through the pieces of metal.

* * *

Bella showed up at the house at ten or so. I had plenty of time to get showered and eat breakfast. I was tying my hair back, when she knocked at the door. A smile rippled across my face as I opened it. I couldn't help myself. I noticed there was a smile on hers too—well, maybe more like a half-smile. But hey—it was a start.

I stood in the doorway, with my palm out.

"What?" she asked.

"Can I please have the keys to the truck?"

Bella just stared at me. Was she suddenly deaf? "Did you hear what I said? What are you waiting for? Hand them over. You said next time—well, it's next time, right?"

She blinked. "Oh, yeah, I guess I did say that." She dropped the keys into my waiting hand, and started toward the ancient heap of red metal sitting in the driveway. I was like an energetic spring bouncing up and down beside her; I was so excited. One of my favorite pastimes added to my favorite person—I was in heaven.

She was wearing a pullover top made of some soft light blue fabric, kinda like fleece or somethin'. I didn't know exactly what it was, but man ... who cared ... it felt good in my hands as I lifted her onto the seat. She no sooner got in the cab when she reached over to a coat lying next to her, and put the freakin' thing on, dammit. It wasn't _that_ cold. I thought maybe she was erecting another boundary line I wasn't allowed to cross. It hurt to know that she didn't trust me yet, or was it that she didn't trust herself? It was a long shot, sure, but it gave me some hope.

It had rained early that morning so that there was mud and puddles of water everywhere. I had to keep my eyes peeled so our junkin' wouldn't be cut short by a trip to the ER—_trip_ being the operative word here if you know what I mean. Good thing I had such big hands, 'cuz she needed my willing assistance to keep her from slidin' around on the rain-slicked ground and settin' her rear end down in a puddle. There were hazards everywhere too, well, hazardous to Bella anyhow. Sharp metal objects stickin' out here and there, were just waiting for her to careen into them. Man, I needed eyes in back of my head. Keepin' her scratch-free was definitely a challenge. I gotta admit though, it was kinda fun, liftin' her over water holes, and dangerous mounds of metallic objects. Don't ask me why, but for some reason, her klutziness was one of the things I loved about her.

At one point she almost flipped over backwards. I had to lunge for her, pulling her to my chest. And how did she thank me? She put out her hands and pushed me away—that's how!

"What do you think you're doing, Jake? Let go of me."

I threw my hands up in the air. "Bells ... give me a break. I just saved you from becomin' _one_ with that rusted clunker."

"Oh."

No, _sorry, Jake_. No, _thank you for saving my life_, just a quiet little ... _oh_.

We picked up a few parts that we needed; Bella even surprised me by spotting a piece that she recognized sitting on the tarp for days. Whaddya know, I guess my class in motorcycle 101 rubbed off on her, huh?

On our way out, we passed by the smashed up remains of a silver Volvo. I was a witness to Bella backing up, her arms clutching her middle like before. She turned and started walking toward the exit quickly. This time, I grabbed her by the shoulder, spinning her around. "I've gotta know, Bella. Would you mind tellin' me what this is all about? I've seen you doin' this _clutching your_ _middle thing_ several times now. Why do you always do that?" I tried to pry her arms from the viselike grip she had on herself.

Her eyes were vacant as she bowed her head, staring at the mud under her shoes. "Jacob, don't," she pleaded.

"Look, Bells, I'm your friend. You know you can tell me anything. Whatever it is, it'll never change the way I feel about you."

She ran from me and climbed into the truck. I followed after her, and sat in the driver's seat. Silence reigned for a good five minutes. I jangled the ignition keys in my hand. "Are you ready to talk to me now? 'Cuz we are _not_ goin' anywhere 'til you come clean."

Bella waved her arms around like she was battin' away a swarm of bees. "What do you want to hear, Jake? That I'm crazy? That I can't give him up? That I have this ... this ... huge hole in my chest that rips open every time I hear his name or something reminds me of him? I feel like I have to hold onto myself so I don't fly apart into a thousand pieces. The only time I feel half-way whole, is when I'm with you, and even then I—"

Covering her face in her hands, a flood of tears started. I couldn't stand to see her sobbin' like that even it was for some other guy. I scooted across the seat, and pulled her onto my lap. Wrappin' my arms around her shoulders, I nestled her head on my chest, and kissed her hair. Her hands reached up, and encircled my neck, as she continued to cry.

This was a first. She didn't pull away, in fact she was holding on to me so tight, I was the _one_ practically gasping for air. But then, who needed to breathe when the girl I was so nuts about was enfolded snugly in my arms.

When she finally stopped the waterworks, she tipped her head back and gazed at me with her big chocolate eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to use you as a shoulder to cry on."

"Hey, it's a big shoulder. You can use it to cry on all you want."

"Jake ... do you know you're the only friend I have right now?" Bella sniffled again. "I really ... I really need you; I need to be around you. When we're together, it's almost like I'm happy again."

Oh man, she knew how to get to my heart. I tried to sound casual. "Anytime, Bells. Are you ready to do some more junkin' now?"

She let go of my neck, and slid off my lap, dammit. Exhaling loudly, she said, "Okay, let's go."

We still had to visit two more yards to make our search worthwhile. We struck pay-dirt, and finally called it a day, returning to the Taj with our haul.

Bella handed me my tools and parts while I started assembling the first bike. I continued piecing it together long after she left, and well into the night. In retrospect, I shoulda stretched out the assembly as long as I could so Bella would hafta see me every day. I wanted to see if I could place a genuine smile on her lips.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Horsin' Around

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

A/N: Hats off to my beta WolfGirl Cheri, for plodding thru' each chapter, and correcting my mistakes.

* * *

My two best friends stopped by the next morning. Embry poked his head in the Taj. "You're not still mad at us, are you?"

"Nah, c'mon in."

"We'll leave when Bella shows up. Promise." He looked around the garage, spotting all the work I had done the previous day. Looking back over his shoulder, he yelled to Quil, "Hey, man, can you tie up the horses back by the compost bin?

"Is that okay with you? My uncle, Omni, said we could keep them all day; he doesn't mind."

"Sure, sure. Hey, you just gave me a great idea. Why don't you leave them here? I'll take Bella horse back riding with me. I'll return them to Omni for you."

"Sounds good."

"What sounds good?" Quil asked as he swaggered through the doorway.

"Jake here, is gonna take his girl for a horsie ride."

Quil sat on the crate and began helping with the bike assembly. "What's the story with her anyway?"

I clicked my tongue and spread my arms in either direction. "I don't know, guys. I mean, she won't even let me touch her. She wants to stay _friends_. The trouble is ... I don't want to be just _friends_." I knew it was stupid, but every time I mentioned the word _friends,_ my fingers automatically formed air quotes.

"Bummer." Embry handed me my crescent wrench.

"Thanks."

Holding the part still while I got the wrench in position, Quil commented, "Well does she know how you feel about her?"

"How should I know? I haven't said anything about it. I'm afraid to.

"The thing is, she worries about the age difference more than I do, I guess. Or maybe it's our culture? I'm not sure. I know it's not that my pockets are empty. I don't think that really matters to her, but who knows what the hell is goin' through her head these days?"

"Bummer."

I tightened the bolt on the piece I was workin' on. In exasperation, my voice raised a couple of decibels. "And she's still freakin' out over her ex leaving her. Why can't she just forget about him, and think about me for a change? I tell ya, it's sooo frustrating. I can't sleep at night, thinkin' about it."

"Bummer."

"Phtt ... go get yourself another girl, Jake. There's plenty more where that one came from."

Waving the wrench in the air, I countered with, "You just don't get it, do you? I think I'm in love with her, Quil. No other girl's gonna do it for me."

"Well, Bella's obviously not gonna _do it_—for you. So say sayonara, and find someone who will. Damn, you're such a tool. Get real, man. A guy has needs."

I put the wrench down and glared at him. "I can't be like that. You think all girls are the same. Well, I got news for you, buddy, they're not. Bella is ... I don't know ... special, somehow. I just wanna throw my arms around her and protect her from harm—and jerks like you. If only she wasn't so damned depressed. Man, her ex really did a number on her.

"She's so fragile. I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing, and causin' a setback. She's barely smiling as it is. I don't want somethin' stupid to pop out of my mouth to make her to stop comin' around. I'd die inside."

"Bummer."

Quil and I both turned to Embry. "C'mon, man, you're the one here with all the brains. Don't you have any advice for the lovelorn?"

"Yeah—be a good friend, make her laugh, shower regularly, keep your hands to yourself, have patience, and take a sleeping pill every night."

I looked at Quil as we both responded, "Bummer."

* * *

The familiar rumble of Bella's truck sounded outside the Taj. I gave my two buddies a pleading look.

Embry stood, brushing the dust from his pants. "A promise is a promise. We're history. See ya later, Jake."

"Good luck with the ice princess," Quil muttered as he joined Embry out the door.

* * *

I quickly wiped the grease from my hands, and hurried out to greet her. I don't know why I bothered to wipe my hands off, it wasn't like Bella was gonna let me get her all dirty with 'em.

Bella was already near enough to the Taj that I didn't have far to walk to her. "Hey, Jake," she ventured quietly.

"Hey, yourself, Bells." I smiled, smugly. "Wanna see how far I've gotten on the bikes?"

"Sure, but can I ask a question first?" She pointed to the animals tethered out back. "Are you boarding horses now?"

"I _wish_. They belong to Embry's uncle, Omni. Embry dropped by and left them here. I thought I might go riding today."

She actually looked amazed.

"You can ride a horse?"

I laughed out loud. "Duh ... of course." Didn't she ever watch any westerns?

We entered the garage, and she gasped in surprise. She leaned over and surveyed my awesome handiwork, running her hand along the frame of the bike. Why couldn't she run her hand along _my_ frame like that? "Oh my gosh, I'll never doubt your mad skills ever. What ... did you work on this all night? It's starting to look like a real motorcycle."

Bella turned her head and gazed into my eyes, rendering my insides to a mountain of mush. The expression on her face made it all worthwhile. It also made me want to grab her and kiss her senseless. Ugh! _Calm down, Jake. Patience, remember?_

I started swinging my arms by my sides. "I thought since we've been spendin' so much time in the ol' garage, we could do with some fresh air. So, how 'bout it?"

Standing up to face me, she blurted, "How 'bout what?"

Jerking my thumb over my shoulder, I explained, "You and me, Bells—on horseback. You didn't think I was gonna go riding by myself, did ya?"

"Well, yeah—I thought—"

I signaled with my hand, motioning her to follow me. "Well, you thought wrong. C'mon, let's go."

"But, I've never ridden on a horse before."

"Jeez, you lived in Arizona, and never rode a horse?"

"It didn't cross my mind. So the answer to that is no."

"But, so what? You never rode a motorcycle either, and yet here we are day after day, piecing together two bikes. I don't think you wanted them just for decoration, honey."

Her frown wasn't very encouraging. "Oh, c'mon, I'll put you on Tattoo, she's as gentle as a baby; I'll ride Bigshot.

"Hey, don't look at me like that ... I was born on a horse. Nothin' to it; I'll show ya."

Bella trailed behind me as I strolled to the spot where the horses were tied. I learned my lesson and didn't bother to attempt any hand holding. I was in my usual good mood, and didn't want to spoil it. I figured if I my expectations were low enough, I couldn't be disappointed, right?

While beside Bella, I ambled toward the animal, patting its flank. She was a beautiful pinto with a white star on her forehead. "This is Tattoo. Go ahead, you can pet her."

Bella timidly smoothed her hand over Tattoo's muzzle, and the mare nickered gently.

Her eyes widened. "Oh, gosh ... she feels so soft, like velvet."

"You wanna feed her? There're some carrots left in the garden."

Bella nodded and I trotted over to the garden and pulled up two carrots, one for Tattoo and one for Bigshot.

"Here, just put it in your hand, and she'll take it from there."

Bigshot lifted his head and nudged me with his nose, wanting his carrot too. "Okay, okay, don't be in such a hurry." I fed him the carrot and stroked the side of his jaw. With the carrot gone, I leaned my head against Bigshot's forehead, and still rubbing my fingers along his jaw, whispered, "That's a good boy." I noticed Bella eyeing me, a tender expression spreading across her face. _Thank you, Bigshot_.

Her eyes zeroed in on mine, holding them intently. "Horses need people or other horses around." I patted Bigshot lightly on his shoulder. "They get attached to their owners, and if they're left by themselves for too long, they get lonely just like us." _And me in particular._

Bigshot began stampin' at the ground restlessly. I clapped my hands, breaking the spell. "Snack break over. Let's mount up!"

That little crease between Bella's eyebrows made its appearance. "Um ... aren't you forgetting something pretty important?"

"Like what?"

Gesturing toward the two animals, she remarked, "Like ... I don't see any saddles on these horses."

"You're kiddin' me, right? Look at me, Bells." I jabbed my chest repeatedly with my thumbs callin' attention to my ethnicity. "Do I look like a cowboy to you? We don't use saddles here on the rez, unless it's some special occasion."

I leaned way down beside Tattoo, placing my hands on my thighs for support. "Okay, up and at 'em. Just step on my back and throw your leg over her."

"I'm not _doing_ that. Are you crazy?"

"No ... and you're not gonna _hurt_ me. Don't be such a girl. Now get up here."

Her face was a mask of pure determination. "I said, no."

I stood up, shakin' my head. "Jeez, you are so stubborn. Tell ya what ... we'll try this another way." Bendin' over again, I laced my fingers together forming a foothold for her. "Here—now step onto my hands and I'll boost you up to Tattoo's back."

I heard a soft sigh, and then one tiny foot stepped onto my palms, and her hand pushed against my shoulder propelling her upwards. "I can't, Jacob. My legs are too short. I can't reach high enough."

"If at first you don't succeed ... We're gonna try this one more time. Step down, and I'll try to boost you a little higher."

We went through the freakin' maneuver again, without success. "I still can't reach far enough. Maybe this isn't such a good idea."

I musta looked devastated, when she stepped down, 'cuz she said, "Are you going to be upset if we don't ride these horses today?"

"Hell, yeah ... The least you can do since I've been slavin' over your bikes is to go ridin' with me. Here, I've got a better idea."

I hopped onto Bigshot, and hanging one arm down, grabbed her hand and hoisted her up onto the horse, sitting her in front of me. It couldn't have worked out better if I planned it that way.

We galloped away, into the woods, with her fingers clutching my arms tightly. I had one hand on the reins and the other around her waist. The wind rushed through her hair, sending the fragrance of her shampoo my way. I was nearly drunk with the scent of her. I was gonna suffer for this tonight—big time.

The trees began to grow together more thickly, so I slowed Bigshot down to a trot. Bella's hold on me loosened, and she leaned back, with her head pressed alongside my neck. We rode together in silence, listenin' to the pine needles rustling around us, and the birds twittering overhead. The only other noises were the loud breath sounds of Bigshot's lungs and the clip-clop of his hooves as they trod on the forest floor.

Looping around the trees, we came to Second Beach, and skirted the sand as close to the water as possible. I don't know about Bella, but this was the best ride I ever had. Sadly, I knew it was time to head home. I swung back to the house and guided Bigshot behind the Taj, next to the compost bins.

I jumped off Bigshot and shook my hair back, re-banding it out of my way. Reaching my hands up, I told Bella, "Put your arms around my neck, so I can get you down."

Her arms were no sooner around my throat when she lost her balance. Pitching forward, she toppled over, landing smack dab on top of me. Man, this day was turning out better and better.

Bella burst out laughing, and I loved the sound. This was the very first time I had ever heard her laugh, and I wallowed in it. When her laughter stopped, the air surroundin' us began to tingle with energy. Did she sense it too? Her chocolate eyes bored into mine, and my breath caught in my chest. She'd never been this close to me before, and I could feel her warm breath tickling my chin. Oh god, I wanted her to press her lips to mine so badly. I leaned toward her a few tiny inches, tempting fate. _Just one little kiss, Bella. _

The atmosphere changed suddenly, and she tried to pull away. I instinctively held onto her stubbornly for a few more precious seconds. Bella's hands released my neck. With her palms steadied on the ground on either side of my head, she pushed herself away from me, physically— and emotionally.

Her eyes took on that lifeless appearance again. "Jacob, please don't. I'm sorry. Let's get back to the garage. We've done enough fooling around."

I sat up and pasted my smile back on, even though my heart was torn. I wanted to cry. Instead, I joked, "You call that foolin' around? You ain't seen nothin' yet, honey."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: I Wanna Hold Your Hand**

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

We spent the rest of the day workin' on the bikes, stopping only for lunch. Bella was a little more chatty today, and even smiled once or twice, that is, after the awkwardness of our _close encounter_ of the lovey-dovey kind wore off. Damn, the Taj seemed more like a tomb when she finally left. How appropriate, 'cuz I died every time that Chevy vanished from my sight. She was always leavin' my corpse behind, sigh ...

Days went by with more of the same. Then on one particular day, she touched me—if you could call it that.

I was crouched down, bent over the bike when the freakin' elastic band holding my hair back snapped in two. My hair fell forward and got caught between some of the sprocket's prongs and the damn chain. I couldn't move my head to see what I was doin', not to mention my fingers couldn't get in between the moving parts to loosen it. To make matters worse, the stupid chain kept slippin' too.

Bella knelt down beside me, attempting to remove my hair from the tines. Her fingers were a whole lot smaller than mine, so it looked like she'd have an easier time of it—if I'd quite my struggling.

"Hold still, Jake. You're making it worse."

"Ow-ow-ow! Jeez, it hurts! Could ya hurry a little?"

"Don't be such a baby. I'm trying to untangle it as fast as I can."

"Well, can't you go any faster? I'm getting' a crick in my neck and one of my legs is startin' to cramp." Man, I could feel each hair painfully gettin' yanked from its follicle. "Ah hell, forget it: just get a scissors and cut the damn thing off."

"I am not cutting your beautiful hair; it's so thick and shiny. I love your hair. Anyway, I've almost got it, just a couple more strands."

She carefully tugged at the last threads, freeing them from the sprocket's hungry teeth, and that freakin' chain. "There, all done." She brushed her hands together in a gesture of success.

Sweee-eet! You heard it gang ... she loved my hair. Now if only she'd love the rest of me.

I lifted my head nearly smacking into hers, and thanked her for leaving my scalp intact. "I am sooo glad you were in here with me. If you weren't, I would literally be stuck to this freakin' bike and cartin' it with me into the house to grab the scissors." Rubbing my sore head, I added, "As it is, I better go in the kitchen and get myself another band. That is _not_ a scenario I would _like_ to repeat."

"It just so happens, I have one in my pocket," she informed me.

Bella motioned for me to sit in front of her while she positioned herself on the crate. I sat down with my arms wrapped around my knees, and leaned back against her legs. She combed her fingers through my hair, sweeping it back away from my face. I closed my eyes and let the sensation of those fingertips on my skin lift my heart skyward. Gathering my hair into a ponytail, I felt her hands lightly brush my neck as she collected the remaining wisps at the nape, then secured it with the elastic.

She patted my shoulders. "There, that should do it."

I didn't want to get up. She could run her fingers through my hair any time—day or night.

When I got ready for bed, I pulled the band from my hair. It was one of those girly tie backs—a purple, glittery circle of elastic, with large clear sequins sewed around the edges. I smiled as I held it in my hand. The next day, I gave it a place of honor, hanging it off the rear view mirror of my Rabbit.

* * *

Sometimes, when I needed to stretch my legs, Bella and I would go down to First Beach and stroll along the water's edge. We were becoming closer, especially after that _hair raisin'_ episode.

The first time she let me hold her hand again, was the day she had tripped despite my watchful eyes. If there was one twig pokin' up in the whole area, Bella would find it for sure, and go sailin' over it, landing in a heap ... no doubt about it. So I extended my hand, and she took it that day, and from then on, she would always place her little hand in mine as we walked along the beach. Anyone around would have concluded that we were a couple—if only that was true.

* * *

Living in La Push had its disadvantages. I was desperate for money, and there were very few jobs especially for a teenager. On a whim, I took my bike over to Embry's Uncle Omni. He was gettin' a little long in the tooth if ya get my drift. Maybe we could both benefit from my muscles. I wasn't afraid of hard work, and asked if he could use a little help.

Joy, oh joy! I was so happy, I coulda kissed him when he said, "Jacob, if you could come each morning before school, Monday through Friday and feed the horses, and muck out their stalls, I'd be very appreciative. I can't pay you much. Does $3.00 per day, sound fair?"

Anything more than $0, sounded fair at this point. "You got a deal, Omni, I'll start first thing tomorrow. I'll be here at 6:30 every day."

* * *

The big event arrived. I had the bikes all assembled, and road tested them. Voila! They worked. I was on the horn early that Saturday, and when I heard that sweet voice, I said, "I believe we have a date," clicking my tongue as I sounded the _T_.

Bella came unglued. "They're finished—they're really finished?"

"Yup." I popped my _P_, polished my nails on the front of my T-shirt and gloated, "You got it, girl. Now put your pedal to the metal and zoom on over here." I put down the phone and whistled my way to the Taj.

* * *

On our way to the testing ground, I was relegated to the passenger seat again; I didn't mind it so much this time though, sitting beside her was enough for me. I could stare at her without windin' up in a ditch too. Half way there, Bella suddenly slammed on the brakes. What the hell ...?

Scramblin' out of the cab, she stared out at Sam and his minions jumpin' into the ocean. I followed close on her heels.

"Holy cow! Did you see that? We need to get to a phone quick and call 911. That guy ... he ... he pushed the other one right off the cliff."

I grinned back at her.

"Jacob Black, this is _so_ not funny!"

"Keep your shirt on, Bells." _Then again, maybe not._ "They're only cliff diving. This is _reservation recreation._ There are no bowling alleys or movie theaters in La Push. It's harmless, but man—what a rush!"

"Do you know those guys?"

That brought up a sore subject. I hadn't seen Embry in a while. He'd been avoiding me and Quil, and hanging around all buddy-buddy, with _Sam the Sham_. "Yeah, that was Embry going over the edge. Sam's the one that pushed him."

I'd never seen her ... this—I guess animated is the word I was lookin' for.

Her face was all flushed with excitement. "I want to do that, too. Can you take me some time?"

"Sure, sure. I'll take you some day. But, tell me something—since when have you become an adrenaline junkie? First the motorcycles and now this. Hey—when we get out there, you're not gonna go _Evel Knievel_ on me are ya?"

Her hands went to her hips. "Gosh, my dad complained because I was a zombie for so long, and now my best friend is whining because I've been resurrected."

My head tilted, and a smirk slid onto my lips. "There's quite a difference from bein' resurrected to bein' reckless, honey.

"So, are we gonna try out these bikes, or what?"

* * *

Bella had just referred to me as her best friend; I could live with that—for a while at least. It was one step better than plain ol' friend, right? Anyway, that got me to thinkin'. She pointed out my _used to_ _be_ best friend jumpin' off that cliff, and I wasn't there _with_ him. What was the deal with Sam's little cult? Did he hypnotize them all? I couldn't see Embry tagging along with him. He didn't even like Sam ... 'til now.

Bella picked up on my mood. I was so out of it, we missed the turn off and had to double back. When I stepped down from the truck, Bella called me on it. I 'fessed up. I guess I was more upset than I thought. I started nervously kicking at her tires—thump, thump, thump. I told her the whole sordid story about how Sam was looking at me funny, like he was waiting for me to explode or somethin', and how the whole cult thing seemed so weird. But what was _really_ weird was the fact that the elders all seemed to ... like ... worship him. It was creepy and it actually had me scared.

I was almost on the verge of tears when Bella wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her head in my chest. Man, I'd have teared up a lot sooner, if I had known _that_ was gonna happen. I made a comment to that effect, and she stepped back, the boundary line had popped up between us once more.

We'd gone over the basics of riding a motorbike for a few days while in the Taj. Now, we reviewed them all, while she was actually astride the bike. Bella did not look at _all_ comfortable, in fact she looked like she was gonna throw up at any second.

After nearly flippin' it on its side for the second time, I groaned. "Are you sure you want to do this? You look kinda sick."

"I'm fine," she huffed, as she straightened up.

"Okay, I'm just sayin'. Maybe you should go vomit over by those bushes. I don't wanna get any on my new work boots."

"Ha, ha, very funny."

I held the bike upright and slammed my heel down on the accelerator for the umpteenth time. She nodded and took off like a jet.

"Bella, slow down!" I yelled after her.

Ms. Knievel kept picking up speed and looking to the side of the road. What the hell was she starin' at? My heart flat-lined when I realized she was goin' too fast to navigate the turn that was comin' up. Too late—the road turned, but the bike didn't. Bella was jettisoned into the air, and the motorcycle skidded sideways along the dirt with the wheels still spinning. She landed head-first into a boulder, splitting open the area just underneath her hairline, with the bike lying halfway on top of her.

I hopped on my cycle gunnin' it as fast as it would go, and raced to her side. I threw the bike down, lettin' it slide to a stop on its own. "Bells ... Bells ...!" I cried in a panic. "You all right?"

I lifted the cycle from her and tossed it across the road. It dawned on me afterwards how superhuman that seemed.

She sat up, lookin' dazed, as the blood began to pour down her face. She blinked, and said, "Yeah, I think so. I'm ready to go again."

Was she kiddin' me? "Over my dead body ... No more bikes—not today. I shoulda had my head examined when I let you talk me into this. What was I thinkin'?

"You are not gettin' back on that bike. You're goin' to the hospital. You're bleeding."

Reaching up to her forehead, Bella fingered the area and came away with the tips covered in red fluid. "Oh," she muttered.

I stripped off my T-shirt and held it to her wound. She peered up at me with those brown doe-eyes. Then inexplicably, Bella uttered, "You know ... you're sort of ... beautiful."

Sort of beautiful, huh? Man, she musta really clunked her head a good one. "Then, I guess, thank you—sort of." Pulling her to her feet, I kept one arm about her waist steadying her, as we walked toward the truck. It was slow goin', so I put my other hand under her legs and carried her the rest of the way. When I had her safely seated inside, I drove toward the downed cycles, and stowed them in the bed of the truck. We stopped off at her home against my better judgment so she could camouflage her injuries, and get me a shirt.

* * *

We had another streak of bad luck the second time we went out, and Charlie was getting' mighty suspicious about the trips to the ER, so we cooled it for a couple of weeks. I was kinda relieved, that the bikes were off limits for the time bein' 'cuz truthfully, I cringed every freakin' time she got on one. Let's face it; Bella had the agility of a goony bird.

With the work on the bikes complete, we spent more time doin' homework, or tinkering with the Rabbit. Then, Bella came up with a cockamamie idea to go hiking, saying there was some meadow she wanted to find. What the ...? Now she wanted to go hiking? She could get lost in her own backyard, for cryin'out loud! Come to think of it, she actually ... already did.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Be Mine

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

Bella came over the next day, so we could do homework together. When we finished, I pulled out a map from the junk drawer, and started tracin' out a grid so we could find the missing meadow. By now, I was questioning Bella's sanity, but the good part about her bein' crazy, was there were lots of roots and branches on the way through the forest for Bella to trip over, so she'd havta hang onto me. Yeah ... how 'bout that!

The following morning, we were on our quest. I looked at what Bella was wearing for our hiking adventure. She had on some jeans and that soft-feeling pullover again. I loved when she wore that. But her shoes?

"We're goin' hiking, Bella—and you're wearin' Converse. Where're your hiking boots?"

Her shoulders sagged, as she sighed. "I don't have any," she confessed.

"Jeez, Bells, you work at Newton's, and you don't own any hiking boots?"

"I never needed any before."

Suddenly I got it. This little excursion had somethin' to do with her ex. He musta taken her in a quad. I got smart and kept my big mouth shut. I didn't wanna witness her goin' all to pieces again, so I changed the subject fast.

"Ooookay, so no hiking boots. It's your funeral," I muttered.

* * *

Bella let me drive, but I was surprised at where we ended up. I parked by a trail that she apparently had _not_ taken. That was weird. No hiking boots, and no trail, huh ...

It was a sunny day, so I got out my compass, and with Bella following like a shadow, we began our trek to the meadow. True to form, Ms. Klutz _found _every treacherous bump, root and twig on the planet. Plus—she was sooo slow, I was tempted to sling her over my shoulder and jog the rest of the way. After several ow's and three close encounters with low hanging branches and jutting rocks, she decided to take me up on holding onto my hand. And man, she about squeezed every freakin' red blood cell out of it, she was clutchin' it so tightly.

The only sounds that were heard as we hiked, were the squirrels rustling about, the pine needles fallin' and the birds tweetin' in the trees. To fill in the silence, I pointed out the different types of trees, ferns and mushrooms, how to use a compass—you know, nature stuff. The remainder of the time, I whistled while we walked hand in hand.

We'd been at it for hours, and still no sign of the meadow. Bella said that maybe it was a hallucination. _That_ was not too hard to swallow.

I could tell Bella was gettin' tired, and the sun was gonna be goin' down soon, so I told her, "We better head on back to the truck if we don't wanna to be stuck here in the dark. We can go search for that spot again next weekend." She seemed disappointed. I wondered what was so great about this mysterious meadow of hers. Anyway, at least I wasn't disappointed. Call me a sentimental sap, but even if we never found it, I would still treasure the time just bein' with her, and holding her hand.

* * *

During the week, we rode our bikes side by side, or took Bigshot for a run on the beach. Bella didn't ever get to mount Tattoo, which was all right by me! She finally did get the hang of cycling, and we quit making trips to the ER, thank god. I woulda never figured Bella for a biker chick, though.

* * *

Valentine's Day was gonna be here in seven more days. I was in a sticky situation. What should I do about it? Roses were romantic, right? Red? No—the meaning was too obvious. Yellow? Would she see through that?

There was always chocolate—all girls liked chocolate, didn't they? I didn't know if she would accept that either, as stubborn as she was about keeping the boundary lines intact. And what about a card?

I walked over to the general store that Embry's mom owned. I was poking around in the candy section when Quil showed up. We'd both been busy lately, so I hadn't seen him in a few days. Damn him—great timing as usual; he _would_ pick today of all days to see me. I was in no mood for him to be harrassin' me about buyin' somethin' for Bella, so I quickly trotted over to the automotive section, and picked up a floor mat. I pretended to look it over when Quil spotted me.

Quil walked up, with a big grin on his face. "Hey, Jake, how's it goin'? You seeing much of Bella these days?"

"Yeah, we go biking together."

A smirk erupted across his face. "Is that _all _you're doing together?"

Heeeere we go again. This was gettin' really old. "Quil, I'm not goin' there. Anyway, I gotta go, Billy's waitin' on me at home. I just wanted to price some floor mats. See ya!"

I went outside and hid behind the building, waitin' for him to leave, only to see Seth heading to the store now. Great—Seth was a bigger talker than I was. If he started in yappin' it up with Quil, I'd have a long wait.

Jeez, I was sittin' around on a pile of freakin' cardboard boxes; feeling ridiculous and cowardly. Suppose they saw me out here. I'd be humiliated, and never get to live it down. I was gettin' impatient too, 'cuz it was taking forever for them to leave. What the hell where they doin' in there? It was a good half hour before they left together. When they were no longer in my sight, I snuck back into the store.

I finally decided to get Bella a small box of conversation hearts. The intention would be there, but she couldn't make a big deal about a lousy 50 cent box of candy, or refuse to accept them either.

All the cards I looked at were waaaaaay too mushy, so I bought a pack of colored pencils so I could make one myself. I got home, and stowed the candy and the pencils deep under the socks in my dresser drawer.

Each night before goin' to bed, I worked on Bella's Valentine card. I sketched out a picture of a boy with his heart pounding in his chest. Then I added the words: _My heart beats for you_. _Be Mine._

With the card finished, I slid it back beneath my socks, and hoped that one guy in particular wouldn't find it. One could never be too careful around Quil and ... Embry. I'd almost forgotten, Embry was with Sam. Dammit, now I was all depressed about that situation again. Sigh ...

* * *

Valentine's Day rolled around and I ran out of the house with the candy hearts clutched in my hand, as soon as I heard the rumble of her truck. I wanted to see her reaction first before giving her the card, so that stayed buried in my drawer for now.

Bella looked kinda startled, watching me trot toward her. Maybe it was the enormous grin that I couldn't hide.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Bella," I announced cheerfully. I held out my hand, offering her my gift of conversation hearts.

Her confusion lifted, being replaced by a look of ... I don't know what. She gazed at the candy like it was a cobra ready to strike. Once again, Bella left my heart in the dust. I guess my card would stay hidden. Couldn't she at least show a little bit of enthusiasm? Couldn't she fake it just this one time, so I wouldn't feel so let down?

She finally opened her mouth to blurt, "Is it Valentine's Day?"

Geesh, she sure could be out of it sometimes. "Yes, Bella, it is February the fourteenth. And every year on this day, boys and girls give each other somethin' to show they care. So, are you gonna accept my humble excuse for a Valentine present? After all, I scrimped and saved for this little treasure."

One of her eyebrows quirked as she scrutinized my face suspiciously. "What exactly, are you expecting in return, if I take them?"

_She really doesn't want to know. Well, we could start with some passionate kissing, then I could_ _haul you off to my little bed and ravish every inch of your luscious body_. "Oh, let's see, since you seem to have forgotten all about giving your best friend a measly valentine, you could be my slave for life." _Sex slave, more like._

Bella let out a breath, and the tension in her body relaxed. She took the little box from my hand "Okay, well if that's all."

I shook my head. How could she forget Valentine's Day for Pete's sake? I mean, girls went ape over this date, but not Bella apparently. I guess I'll never understand the workings of her freakin' mind. I grabbed her hand. "C'mon, Bells, the Taj is waitin'."

* * *

My hands were all covered in grease. I removed my head from under the Rabbit's hood, ready to ask Bella to get me a rag to wipe them on. Her chocolate eyes grew bigger, and she drew back to stop me from gettin' any closer.

"Jacob Black, don't you dare get any grease on me."

Now she did it. I couldn't resist. "You mean like this?" I lunged toward her. Shrieking, she knocked over the wooden crate and ran in the opposite direction. My long legs carried me across the garage in pursuit. I pinned her up against the wall of the Taj, my hands imprisoning her head.

Her chest was heavin', and there was a fire of defiance flaming in her eyes. There was a fire in me too, but it was not only restricted to my eyes. It was rapidly streakin' through my veins. Her warm breath fanned across my face, as I held up one grease-coated finger, threatening to paint a black stripe on her cheek.

"Jacob," she pleaded.

Damn, she was beautiful, everything I wanted in a girl. I stared at her mouth as she uttered my name, and I inched closer. All of a sudden, her hands shot out as she pushed at my chest. "Jacob, don't!"

_Jacob, Don't!_ The fire was out in an instant; the extinguisher bein' that freakin' phrase. The little girl squashed my heart once more.

I cleverly covered up my disappointment. "Ah, c'mon, Bells. Did you really think I would rub my dirty hands all over you?" After the words left my mouth, I realized that it had a double meaning. Did she catch that?

Her eyes spiraled in their sockets. "Fun's over. Now let me go."

I pulled away from her, and commented, "Sure, sure. You wanna hand me that rag over there?"

She leaned over to pick up the rag, and gave me a perfect view of her rear end. I looked away quickly, feeling the flames beginnin' to lick about me again. She stood up and threw it to me, stickin' her tongue out at me. What I wouldn't like to do with that tongue ...

* * *

I walked with her back to the house to wash my hands. "Bikes this Friday then?" I looked over my shoulder at her. She'd been kinda fidgety, I could always tell when there was somethin' on her mind.

That's when Bella dropped a bombshell—okay, so maybe not exactly a bombshell but it was enough to ruin _my_ day.

"Not this Friday. I'm going to the movies with some of my friends from school."

That was a sucker punch to my gut—her best friend left outta her Friday night plans. There was no way to disguise the hurt. I'm sure my face fell, 'cuz she quickly amended it with, "But you'll come too, won't you?"

She set up this movie night with no thought of me. Then, when I caught her, she extended the invitation. Would she be embarrassed stringing along a sophomore; was that it?

Even though I realized it was a hasty decision on her part, and I'd be sharin' Bella with her other friends, I accepted. Anything to spend an evening with her. "What time?"

"We need to leave Forks by six, and bring Quil with you. I'll try to get some extra girls to keep him entertained."

"All right then. Six it is." I gave her a high five ... with clean hands.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: At the Movies

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

During the remaining few days of the week, I worked my butt off installing a carburetor in the Rabbit. I'd be damned if I'd let Bella drive me to the movies with all her friends standing as witnesses ... laughing at her little sophomore bein' chauffeured around. My masculine pride couldn't take it.

The test run on my Rabbit went great. Now all I needed was windshield wipers, but I'd run out of time; it was already 4:00 P.M. and I needed to be at Bella's by 6:00. And soooo ...

Quil answered the door; his head jerking in surprise as I rushed past him. "Ya gotta help me, Quil, I need to borrow the windshield wipers off your mom's car."

His mouth dropped open, flabbergasted by my request. "_You_ are off your nut, man! What am I supposed to tell my mother—that a mysterious _wiper swiper_ came by and took them?"

"You don't need to tell her anything. I'll replace them as soon as we get back from the movies. She'll never be the wiser."

He was still standing in the doorway like a traffic controller, staring at me. I could practically hear his teeth grinding back and forth. "Why do I let you talk me into this stuff? I should have my head examined. I hope you realize I could get grounded for this—and for your info, I'm already grounded as it is. I can't go with you tonight."

I was stunned. "What'd ya do this time, stupid?"

"That's just it—I'm stupid. I'm flunking math."

"Jeez, great time to get grounded. Look, I'm still goin', with or without you, so let's go out to the garage."

Quil gave me the weirdest look. I grabbed his shoulder, shaking him. "Hey, don't give me that look. I'll pay you back for your trouble. I'll even help you with the math."

* * *

We raced out to the car and removed the wipers.

Leaning on the hood, Quil asked, "How do you know these will even fit?"

"Don't worry about it, moron, I'll _make_ them fit!"

I left his house carrying the needed parts and went back home, totally prepared to duct tape them on if I had to. I didn't want to get pulled over and ticketed for bein' minus two measly wiper blades on my maiden voyage. So what if they didn't actually function—jeez, I hoped it didn'train_._ Luckily, they fit okay. Thank god, 'cuz I still had to get dressed.

My choice of clothes for tonight was limited to say the least. Let's face it, there wasn't much call for dressin' up on the rez. A bonfire was just about our biggest whoop, and that didn't call for anything fancy. Jeans and a tee was about it.

The clock was tickin' and panic was starting to set in. Crap, did I remember to wash my hoodie this week? And if I did, where the hell did I put it? Dammit, I couldn't find my right shoe either. It was probably in my closet—somewhere—under somethin' or other. _Nope, not there_. Maybe under the bed? Damn, I should clean up this mess one of these days ... but no siree, not today.

Finally I found the shoe, hidden beneath a pile of dirty laundry, sittin' in a corner of my room. It had a broken shoelace but there was nothing I could do about it now. I needed to get to Forks. I wanted to arrive at Bella's early so I could surprise her.

* * *

I arrived at Bella's place fifteen minutes early, and rapped at the door. She actually looked glad to see me.

"Jacob," she chirped. "You're here early."

"Yeah ... I was in a hurry to show you somethin'. Come on out here."

She looked past me then. "Where's Quil?"

"He's not coming, and don't ask, it's a long story." I crooked my index finger motioning her forward.

Bella followed me out to the car; her face lit up in surprise. I could tell she thought it was pretty awesome. Swee-eeet!

"Oh. My. Gosh—Jake, you did it! You're a genius, Mr. Goodwrench. I admit it—I can't top this one." She gave me a high five, that I quickly converted into an interlaced finger-lock. Her hand slipped away speedily though, as we heard a car nearing the house.

My time in the spotlight was short-lived as _Misguided Mike_ pulled up in his Suburban. Damn, would I ever catch a break? Why was _he_ here so early? It irritated me to no end that he'd be sniffin' around Bella all night long. I was glad to be with her tonight so I could protect the poor girl from that wolf.

He hopped out of the car with a grin on his face. It faded pronto when he eyeballed me standin' beside the object of his affection. He walked toward us, and said, "Hi, Bella."

He looked me over with a big sneer. "Who's this?"

She waved her palm back and forth between us. "Oh ... Mike, this is my friend, Jacob Black. Jake, this is Mike Newton."

Jeez, his handshake was as limp as a dead fish. I gripped his hand more firmly—maybe a little too firmly—and snickered inwardly as he tried to straighten out his crunched fingers, when I let go. Okay, so maybe that was mean, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't like the way he buzzed around her like he owned her or somethin'. Man, what I wouldn't give for a human-sized fly swatter. Whoosh ... Splat! End of story.

With her eyes traveling between the two of us, Bella warily scrutinized our body language. Did she really think I would take a swing at him? Damn, straight! The girl was a mind reader.

She backed up a little awkwardly (maybe to get out of the line of fire?), and muttered, "You two wait here. I'll go call the rest of the gang to see if they're coming."

We stood face to face, staring each other down like two territorial gorillas. Any minute now and we'd be thumpin' on our chests. Luckily, Bella returned before we started baring our teeth too. I woulda had him in that department. I had the best set of choppers in the state of Washington.

Bella didn't seem too happy when she met us at the car. "Bad news, guys, Ben is sick, so Ang isn't going, and the rest of them bailed for one reason or another. You want to reschedule?"

Mike quickly responded, "No, I'm still game, but if Jacob here wants to bow out, that's all right with me."

She peered at me, her chocolate eyes wide with _help me_ written in them.

Over my dead body. _Misguided Mike_ was not gonna be sittin' in the dark, with his arm sneakin' around her.

Shrugging my shoulders, I remarked, "Hell, no, I'm already here, so let's get goin'. We'll take my car to save on gas.

No way was I gonna allow him to drive his Suburban. That would put Bella up in the front seat with him. Mike looked pretty steamed but he didn't utter a word since Bella was braggin' about my Rabbit.

"Can you believe it? Jake rebuilt this car all by himself."

"Yeah, great," Mike muttered with the enthusiasm of a slug.

I held the door for the two of them, and Mike reluctantly got into the back, with Bella sliding onto the front seat beside me.

During the whole ride over, that freakin' Mike tried every trick in the book to get near Bella, but she managed to stay one step ahead of him. At one point, he propped his chin on the back of the seat near her cheek. Then whammo, in the next instant, she was leaning her head against the side window. It woulda been funny, if I hadn't experienced the brunt of the same tactics myself. Man, she had the moves down pat. She coulda been an offensive blocker in the NFL—well, if she was two heads taller, a hundred pounds heavier and a guy ... who happened to play football.

* * *

When we arrived at the theater, Mike and Bella got in line to purchase the tickets, while I stood to the side. I handed Bella my money, as Mike stared at me.

"Whaaat? Why are you looking at me like that? I'm not old enough to get into this flick, okay?"

"Could've fooled me. How old _are_ you?"

I stepped a little closer to him, and admittedly intimidated him a bit. For some reason, I was feeling aggressive tonight. "I'm sixteen. You got a problem with that?"

Mike backed away. "No, it's just that you look so much older."

With tickets in hand, Bella flit to my side. "C'mon, guys, popcorn awaits."

* * *

We made it to our seats in plenty of time for the movie—a real winner—called Crosshairs. They shoulda named it cross-eyes, 'cuz it was so dumb, it made your eyes cross in disbelief. Bella sure knew how to pick 'em.

Mike and I sat on either side of Bella, each of us with an open palm on the arm rest, in case she wanted to hold someone's hand. Neither one of us lucked out. She sat with her arms crossed over her chest. I was secretly celebrating that she didn't give that chump the time of day, but hell, she could've at least let her best friend hold onto her hand.

The movie sucked so bad, I started to laugh. The acting was hokey, the special effects looked like somethin' Ed Wood had put together and there was no plot—just explosions, blood and guts. Puh-leeze, give me a break. Why did Bella want to see _this_ turkey?

My laughter got Bella giggling, and soon the two of us were roaring. The people surrounding us began shushin' us, and that's when we noticed Mike had his head in his lap. Jeez—what a cream puff!

Bella was more sympathetic toward him than I was. Maybe if the _marshmallow_ had such a weak stomach, he shoulda thought twice about comin' to an action flick.

She leaned down and whispered, "Mike, are you all right?"

He turned his head, and even in the darkness, I could see beads of sweat on his face. His color was crap too.

"I gotta go the restroom," he blurted. "Oh, god, I think I'm gonna throw up."

Mike darted out to the aisle, with Bella and me on his heels.

Bella stopped, and looking back over her shoulder, said, "You don't have to come with me, Jake. Go back and get your money's worth."

Was she kiddin' me? I'd seen enough of that crap to last me a lifetime. Nooo thanks, I was gonna stay where the real action was. "Bella ... believe me when I say, I won't be missin' a thing." _Except for some reeeaaally bad acting._

"Well, could you do me a favor then, and go check on him?"

"Sure, sure." Great—just what I wanted to do, check on a guy who was pukin' his guts out. I could smell it from clear out here in the lobby. Ugh! I hated the smell of vomit. It was enough to get _me_ heavin'. But ... anything for Bella, so I sucked it up and braved the _eau de barf._

He was gonna be in there for quite a while. That's what ya got when you pigged out on a 44ounce cup of Pepsi, an extra large bucket of popcorn, and two boxes of raisinettes. Was it heartless of me to think, _served him right?_

"Hey, Mike," I yelled outside the stall he was in. He was making a racket in there, retchin' and pukin'. The stench was makin' me gag. I said my piece in a hurry so I could scram before I joined him in the next empty stall. "We'll be waiting in the lobby for you."

His answer was another round of retching.

I returned to the lobby, gulping in the fresh air. I plopped onto a nearby lounge, and looked around for Bella. I spotted her checking out some movie posters, and patted the seat beside me. "May as well relax, he's gonna be in there unloading his popcorn for a looong time."

As soon as she sat down, my arm instinctively snaked around her. She leaned away, only this time, I wasn't gonna let her get away with it. We were gonna have it out. I grabbed one of her hands, and enclosed her other wrist to prevent her from scurrying away from me.

"You mind tellin' me why you won't let me hold your hand or put my arm around you? You don't seem to mind it when we're at the beach. Are you embarrassed for your friend to see you holdin' my hand? Is that it?" Jeez, the ol' age difference thing again?

Bella sighed, and looked down, gazing at her lap. "No, it's just that I don't want Mike to get the wrong impression."

"And what impression would that be? That we're a couple? Look at me, Bella." I tilted up her head. "You like me don't you? You even think I'm sort of good lookin', right? So what do you care what _pukey guts_ thinks?"

"I guess because it seems to mean more to you than to me. You're my best friend, Jake. I like you more than any other guy, or any of my girlfriends for that matter. But you're ... only my friend. I need you to understand that."

"Okay, at least you're honest. I can live with that; it's my problem. You don't need to worry your pretty little head about it anymore. I have all the time in the world to change your mind. Persistence is one of my many virtues. Sooo—can I hold your hand now?" I flashed her my pearly whites.

As I clasped her hand in mine, _Misguided Mike_ came staggering out of the restroom, looking the worse for wear. Man, this whole evening was a total bust. Better luck next time, huh ...

His face had a greenish cast. It was pretty damn appropriate considerin' he was lurching like Frankenstein's monster. _It's aliiiive!_

His tongue started flappin'. _It talks too ..._

"I don't feel so good. Do you think we could go now?"

I don't know why that freakin' statement rubbed me the wrong way, but I was feelin' annoyed—really annoyed. And he was the _annoyer._ I was just about ready to erupt. I glared at him menacingly. _Go ahead—make my day. Just open your mouth one more time, so I can shut it for you._

Mike spread his arms in apology—a little too late to suit me. "What? I was feeling sick right after the movie began rolling. I'm sorry. I thought it would pass."

He paused, his eyes narrowing at me. "What is your _problem_?"

That tore it. I stood up, moving toward him. Bella was now holding me back. Oh, so now she's okay with holding onto me? _Figures_ ... _Let go, Bella. I just wanna pop him one. Right in his freakin' mouth!_

There was a fire spreading throughout my gut. Why was I feeling so angry all of a sudden? We were practically nose to nose, as I hissed through my clenched teeth, "So you're sick, huh? Maybe you should see a doctor. It'd be my pleasure to arrange that. Hell, whaddya say we skip the doc. Let's just send you straight to the hospital." _Bang—zoom!_ "How 'bout it, pal?"

Bella stepped between us, alarmed at my escalating hostility. "Jacob, stop. Let's just go."

Her hand on my chest calmed me down some. I strode over to the concession stand and got a popcorn bucket. The clerk was anxious to hand it to me after seein' Mike's expression. I'll bet she was relieved to see _us_ out the door.

I handed the bucket to the sick sap and told him, "Not one drop on my upholstery, you hear me?"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Birth of a Monster

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

* * *

My anger was settling down to a low simmer as we drove back to pick up Mike's Suburban. I left the windows rolled down so the cold air would do him some good. It did the two of us up front some good too. It helped with the smell of the puke, 'cuz he was still upchuckin' away. Jeez, where was it all comin' from? Was that bucket big enough? I kept cranin' my neck around to make sure my pristine upholstery remained that way. Damn, I'd hafta air out my Rabbit for a week to get rid of the stink. First time out, and it was reekin'—and I mean, reekin' of vomit. Some luck!

Not all of the ride back was bad though. With the windows down, I was rewarded with my dream girl snugglin' up to me.

"Holy Cow, Jake. You're so warm. Are you sure you're not getting sick too?"

"Nah, I'm fine." I turned my head and cocked an eyebrow. "I've always been a hot guy, and you're just noticing that _now_?"

"You really are hot. I'm not kidding."

"Me neither," I boasted.

She reached up, placing a cool palm against my forehead. "I'm serious. You're burning up, Jake."

Shrugging, I remarked, "Okay, so I'm hot. I repeat—I feel fine."

* * *

I helped Bella get Mike situated in the Suburban, and followed behind in my car. He made it to the entrance of the home and his dad took it from there.

After we deposited the puker onto his doorstep, we headed back to Charlie's place. It was pretty quiet on the way there; I didn't blame her. She was so easy to read; Bella was still reeling from my sudden angry outburst at the theater. Truth be told, I wasn't sure where the hell all that originated. I was happy. I very seldom got angry at anybody. What was goin' on?

When we pulled up to the Swan residence, I killed the engine, and turned to her. Putting the drama I caused at the movies behind me, I dove right into what I was feelin' in my heart right at that moment. I knew that Edward left her in bad shape, not dead physically, but dead all the same. She had to realize that I was not, and never could be like him in any way, shape, or form.

She had her fingers on the door handle when I leaned over and placed my hand on top of hers in an effort to stop her. "Bells ... I need to tell you somethin', and I'm sure it'll sound corny as all get out, but I don't really care."

Her big brown eyes gazed into mine, making my heart stutter. "I know how unhappy you are, but I'm here to say that you're a beautiful person, and you deserve better than the way you were treated. I know what that jerk did to you. My dad told me. You know I would never hurt you like that, right? I'll always be here for you ... no matter what. I'll never let you down, I promise. You can depend on me for anything—I mean that sincerely."

"I _already_ depend on you, Jacob." Tears began to glisten in her eyes. "I don't know what I would do without you. You're my sun and I have to be around you. I can't ... live without warmth and light."

I squeezed her hand. "Remember what I said, 'cuz I meant every word of it. Jeez, I guess I better go. Maybe I _am_ getting sick. I'm startin' to feel a little weird myself. 'Night, Bells."

"Good night, Jake. Be careful driving home. And call me when you get there, okay?"

"Sure, sure."

That strange heat was travelin' through my body again. Mike had the only popcorn bucket with him, so I needed to get home soon.

* * *

I stopped off at Quil's first to return the wiper blades. He opened the door, and I was greeted with tightly folded arms and a scowling face. Uh-oh, his mom was in on our little secret, huh.

Quil was not in the best of moods, and I wasn't exactly happy to listen to his rant.

"I had a bad feeling about you taking those wipers, but did I listen to what my gut was telling me? Nooo ... of course not. Thanks to you, I now have another two weeks added to my sentence."

He led me out to the garage to stick the blades back on the Corolla, still complaining about how much trouble I caused him.

I was bent over the windshield attaching them. He was standing beside me like a piece of wood, with his eyes shootin' daggers in my direction.

"Okay, so it didn't work out like we planned. I'm sorry. Whaddya want me to do about it?"

He shoved me in the shoulder as I straightened up, with the wipers now in place.

"I'll tell you what you're gonna do about it. You're gonna be here every afternoon to help me with my math, like you promised."

"Hey, you know I can't do that. That's when Bella comes over. How 'bout we make it after supper?"

"Oh, no—if I can't see any of my girls, then you're not seeing yours either."

"Now, wait a minute. That doesn't seem fair."

"Really? I'm stuck here for a month, and you're whining about what's fair. Well, too bad! Suck it up, Black. And the next time you need to ask a favor, go look somewhere else."

The heat was rising in my chest. "I could just kill you, Quil."

"I'd like to see you try, moron."

He shoved me again, and it was all I could do to rein in my anger. "Let it alone, Ateara. I'm not feeling so hot right now, so I'll leave you in one piece ... this time."

His scowl got uglier as he spurted, "Is that so ...? Get out, before I wipe up the floor with you."

I started to shake, feeling weirder than ever, and left, afraid that I might actually tear the place apart.

* * *

Still in a foul mood as I entered the house, my dad began hounding me, "Good, you're finally home. I need to know where you put my wood gouge. I know you have it, even though I asked you not to touch it."

I was getting increasingly irritated. I just wanted to get some shut-eye. "It's out in the garage."

Damn, here it came—another lecture. "Son, you know If you take it to the garage, I can't get out there—not in my wheelchair. Why would you do that? Now go get it, and don't use any of my woodworking tools without my permission again."

"I'll get it tomorrow, Dad. I'll have to look for it. I'm tired; I need to go to bed."

"Bed can wait. I said to go get it now."

That tore it. My anger exploded like a keg of dynamite. It scared the hell outta me, and the look of fear on my father's face killed me then and there. But what was goin' on? My body was vibrating, and I felt myself morphing into ... I didn't know what. My dad was racing to the phone, I heard him say Sam's name, and tell him, "It's happening—get over her quick!"

All at once, my head was practically hittin' the ceiling, and the furniture was being knocked aside. I looked down, and my feet were all covered in ... fur? My feet? Oh god, they were paws. Where were my hands? I had four feet, and I was standing on them. My hands ... my hands ... they were gone. What was happening to me? Was I delirious? Maybe that was it. I caught some mysterious bug, and I was hallucinating. Yeah, that was it. None of this was actually happenin'. It was all in my head. Chewin' on that thought—that's when I began hearing Sam's voice.

I looked around the room. I didn't see him anywhere. But I could still hear his voice as if he was right next to me.

_Jacob, you need to get out of the house. I'll explain all this to you as soon as you've moved outside._

Stunned, I did as his voice told me. It seemed like I had no choice in the matter. I had to obey.

Dad opened the sliding back door, and I lurched unsteadily on my four paws, feeling like a newborn colt. When I squeezed through the door, I was met by a large black wolf. Somehow, I instinctively knew it was Sam.

I heard his voice in my head. He seemed to be aware of what I was thinking. _Yes, Jacob, it's me, Sam. And no you're not hallucinating. Come with me where we can have some privacy._

I followed him cautiously at first, then when I was more comfortable with my footing, began running beside him.

The speed in which we made it deep into the forest was amazing. When we reached Cripple Creek, he laid out the truths that I thought were fairytales all this time. Certain members of the Quileutes had the wolf gene. I was the son of Billy Black and a direct descendant of Ephraim Black, so that was my inescapable destiny, to be a shape shifter, a protector of our people. It was triggered by the arrival of the Cold Ones, and the Cullens fit that description.

I wasn't listening to anything more Sam had to say. I begged him to go and leave me alone. But, he didn't want me to go through this with no one for support like he did, so he mentally let me know, _Jared__ and Embry will be here close by to watch over you. I can't leave you on your own. They'll come if you need them._

My mind was flooded with my own thoughts, so Sam went home, leaving me to mull over all of this ... stuff that my head was filled with.

Was that why Bella was so interested in my scary stories? She knew? She knew, and still hung around with that guy? She even loved him. I had a hard time wrappin' my head around that one.

Bella was so sensible—why would she ...? Wait ... where was I goin' with this? Was I accepting ... whatever it was that was happenin' to me? This was caused by that damn family and she was still mourning over that cold one—that vampire? Sh**, where did that leave me? I was getting closer to her, and now this! Would she even be able to love _another_ type of monster ... like me?

The furnace inside me burned hotter. Filthy bloodsuckers. I was doomed to this fate because of them, and would possibly lose the only girl I had ever loved. Who else would even want me, if I was rejected by her? I took off running. I didn't care where I went. I finally lay down next to a fallen pine tree, resting my head on it.

I closed my eyes, and pleaded with my maker, _Please, god, this is only a dream, right ...? An incredibly horrible nightmare. I'm ready to wake up now. I'm begging you, let me wake up. C'mon, Jake—wake up, wake up. Somebody, anybody ... wake me up. Please ... I gotta ... I just gotta wake up. No ... This can't be 't let it be real. I have a life. I've got a girl that I want to love me. Please ... please ..._

I willed myself to return to my human form, and when I looked down, I could see my naked body

shimmering back to normal. The tears started to fall, and then wracked with sobs, I curled my

arms around my legs and rocked back and forth, wailing in agony into the treetops._ Please don't _

_let anyone find me like this._ Then I cried out in my hurt and anger, "Bella..."

* * *

Naked and alone, I stayed there, for two days, crying off and on at the gruesome turn in my life.

There was nothing I could do to change it. A life sentence, that's what it was; I'd become a prisoner of my _own_ body. I'd been re-born a monster.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Breaking Promises

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

A/N: Some of the sequence of events have been rearranged to fit my purposes, so don't go all bonkers on me out there, kay?

* * *

I hadn't eaten or slept in three days now—hadn't taken a shower, or gone to school, or called Bella, like I promised her. Bella ... what must she be thinking? Then it dawned on me—why the hell did I even care? I just wanted to _die_. I phased back and headed home, hoping that some hunter would find me and put a bullet through my chest. Yeah, my heart was already shattered, so what difference would a bullet make now? It would release me from this hell I was living in.

Dad stopped me as I stepped through the door. "Son—"

I interrupted him. "Don't try to cheer me up. There's nothing you can say to me, Dad; my life is over. I'm gonna eat a bowl of cereal and then I'm goin' to bed."

Pivoting away from him abruptly, I walked to the kitchen cabinet to get down the cereal, spoon and a bowl. After pouring milk over the cereal, I closed my eyes while I ate. I couldn't stand the look of pity on his face. I scarfed it down, guzzled a glass of juice and headed for my bedroom.

I woke up twelve hours later, showered and went out to the garage. I stretched out my legs as I alighted on the old orange crate where Bella used to sit, and stared at the wall. I was all cried out, there was nothing left inside, just some memories, and a chest full of emptiness, or so I thought.

I caught a glimpse of something shimmering in the Rabbit. Opening the door, I pulled down Bella's ponytail holder from my rear view mirror and nearly lost it again. The little purple band with the plastic sequins reminded me of a time when vampires and werewolves were just spooky stories to tell around the bonfire, a time when Bella and I did homework together, and rode side by side on our bikes, or sat atop Bigshot as we kicked up the spray from the salt water at First Beach. It was history past, with no hope for the future.

I looked at the little token wistfully, and slipped it into the glove compartment. Scooting across the seat, I got out of the car and slammed the door shut. End of that chapter of my life—I was now burdened with the new responsibility of guarding the tribe against the cold ones. I braced myself upon the chassis of the Rabbit with my arms, lowered my head and sighed.

* * *

They talked quietly between themselves discussing how to handle the overwhelming instructions to heap upon me. I heard them all before they entered the Taj—Sam, Embry, Jared and Paul. Here to tell me what I didn't want to know. The talk—the facts of life among the wolf pack—facts that I had no right to share with anyone outside my new-found brotherhood. And that—the secrecy involved—was the greatest burden of all.

They sauntered up behind me, their footfalls practically silent.

Without glancing over my shoulder, I said, "Look, guys, there's a great deal you need to tell me. I know that. But can't it wait awhile? It's a lot to swallow in one gulp, you know? I mean ... I ... I don't think I can take it right now. I have to go talk to Bella, and explain to her why I've avoided her these past three days. She needs me. I promised her I would always be there for her. I can't break that promise."

I was still turned away from them. Sam put his hand on my shoulder, pivoting me around so I could face him. "That's the first thing we need to discuss."

Panic seized me. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, I'm sorry, but you can't see her; you'll be putting her in danger. You're new at this, Jacob. I was surprised at how fast you learned to phase back, but you still need to learn how to control your wolf. In a split second, you could lose it, and the consequences could haunt you for the rest of your life. I'm speaking from experience. I wish I could take back the hurt I caused Emily. You've seen her scars. I was the one who did that to her—the woman I love."

A lump began to swell up in my throat. "Are you saying, I can never see her again?"

"No, I'm saying you need to stay away from close friends, and especially Bella until you've mastered some control."

"How long, Sam? Tell me how long."

"Six months, maybe longer. It all depends on how long it takes _you_."

I nearly slumped against the Rabbit. Six months—I'd been dying bit by bit for just the past three days. I'd never survive six months. She wouldn't either. I'd made so much progress with her, but it would all be undone if I had to wait that long.

"Jake." It was Embry. "It'll get better. I know you don't believe that now, but it will. Quil will be joining us soon. The Three Moosketeers will be together again."

Quil—he's gonna be devastated thinking I've left his friendship behind 'cuz of that stupid argument we had. At least when Embry joined the pack, Quil and I had each other. Now, he'll be alone. This whole situation really sucked!

The more I thought about it, the madder I got. Why did the Cullens have to come here? Why didn't they stay out of our way, and go live in Antarctica; there were plenty of penguins they could suck dry. And why, oh why did Bella hang around them, knowing what they were?

I sat on the garage floor, resigned to listen to what they had to say. There was no freakin' alternative.

* * *

My brain was bursting with all the crap I was force fed. I rolled my eyes, not caring if Sammy- boy liked it or not. "Okay, guys, you can stop already; I got it. So now what?"

Jared smiled, and bent down to lift me back on my feet. "C'mon, Jake. Tattoo and a haircut, that's what."

Several hours later, my right bicep was covered in black ink—with a representation of two wolves. With that done, I was back at home sitting in a kitchen chair, a towel tucked around my neck, and Dad wielding scissors. He kept sniffling as each clump of hair fell to the floor.

My mind drifted to the day I asked Bella to cut it, and remembered her telling me how she loved my long hair. It seemed liked a millennium ago.

When he finished shearing my head, he handed me a mirror to admire his work. I peered up at my father, as I handed it back to him. He had a pained, half-smile on his face, and tears in his eyes. I felt bad for getting so angry at him. He didn't deserve it; he wasn't the reason for my unhappy state. And at least now, I could take revenge on the real enemy—any bloodsuckers dumb enough to show their ugly pale faces around here.

* * *

I swept up all the hair, and trudged out to the trash. When I returned to the kitchen, the phone rang. Dad yelled from the bathroom, "Can you get that?"

"Sure, sure."

I picked up, answering, "Black residence," and nearly swooned at the sound of the voice on the other end. I plunked down on a nearby chair, searching my mind. What was I supposed to say to her?

"Jacob," she said, breathlessly. "I haven't heard from you. Are you okay? Billy said it wasn't a twenty-four hour bug. I'm so sorry. Can I bring you anything?"

"No ... I mean. The doc says it's mono." What a laugh, considering I'd never even kissed a girl. "You shouldn't be around me. It's contagious. We won't be able to see each for a while."

"I've already been exposed, so it shouldn't matter now.

"I'll bring you by some chocolate chip cookies. I made some penuche too. Your favorite."

"Maybe some other time. I gotta go now. I feel horrible." _That's the damn truth. I feel horrible_ _lying to you like this._ "I don't want you coming unless you hear from me first, okay?"

"Sure, Jake, anything you say."

That last line really killed her. I could tell by the tone of her voice how hurt she was. I promised I would never _hurt_ her, and yet here I was only four days later doing that very thing.

"Bye, Bells."

"Bye."

As I heard her final word, I felt like shouting, _Don't go, please. I have to hear your voice._ I sagged against the back of the chair, and dropped my face into my hands. Billy wheeled into the room, a witness to my slumped form.

"Something the matter?"

_No, Dad, everything's just peachy._ "That was Bella on the phone."

He inched closer. "What did you say to her?"

I uncovered my face and looked at him. Was he kiddin'me? He knew as well as I did how tightly bound I was to keep our precious little secret. "Nothing. What was I _allowed_ to say? I basically told her to stay away 'til I give her the go ahead as to when she can come see me. And who knows how long that'll be?"

He patted my shoulder. "That's a good boy!"

"Yeah, a real good boy," I muttered under my breath. I just broke the heart of the only girl I ever cared about. Yeah, I'm a real good boy all right. What a joke!

That night while showering, I started to lather up my head, when I automatically leaned forward to grab for the long strands in back. I'd forgotten it was gone; another reminder of how my life had changed. It also took me a while to stop the habit of tossing my hair over my shoulder. I ached every time I unconsciously did that. I felt like Samson of old, helpless and weak, though ironically, my shorn head was a symbol of my new-found strength.

* * *

Another gloomy week came and went. I did my duty and avoided any non-pack members, but felt guilty when one day Quil spotted me hanging around with the wolf clique.

Embry, Paul and I had come out of the Dairy Queen, when I heard him call, "Jake, wait up!"

Paul gave me the _look_, and I knew what my response had to be, so I pretended I didn't hear him. I hurried with the guys to get across the street, as I heard him again, "Hey, I know you heard me. What the hell's going on?"

We left him standing on the sidewalk, looking like some kid that had his lollipop stolen.

When we were out of his sight, I stopped and nudged Embry. "What's the freakin' deal here, guys? He'll be phasing soon ... you said so yourself, Embry. I can't see the harm in talking to him. Did you see the look on his face? He's gonna think we hate him. He's been our friend for years for Pete's sake."

Paul stepped forward, shoving me in the shoulder. Then, blunt as ever, snarled, "Sam is the law. What he says, goes, idiot. So just shut your trap and follow the rules. You think because your dad's Billy Black you can bend them any which way?"

That damn Paul, always rubbing me the wrong way. One of these days, I was gonna have it out with him. I knew I could take him, but this was not a good time.

Embry suddenly jerked to attention. "Speaking of the law. Isn't that Charlie's cruiser heading in our direction?"

Sh**! He drove right by us, and honked his horn. Bella was bound to find out I was lying to her now. Could things possibly get worse? The answer came in the following week and it was a resounding—YES!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Harsh Words

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

A/N: Kudos to my beta, WolfGirl Cheri for looking over my chapters.

**. . . . .**

I felt bad staying away from the girl I loved, but what could I do? Sam was the Alpha and he ordered me to keep my distance—to keep her off the rez. Misery was my constant companion. In a way though, I could see his point. I would never forgive myself if I suddenly lost it and turned on her, but how I missed her! Trying to lessen the pain of loneliness, I kept myself busy. I patrolled with the rest of the pack; protecting our people and any others within our borders.

I thought about sneaking off and going to her house just to get a glimpse of her. Maybe being able to see her would somehow soothe this raging ache in my chest. I accidently let that thought reside in my brain during patrol duty, and from then on Sam and his watchdogs kept a close eye on me. Sh**! I wasn't gonna talk to her for Pete's sake—I only wanted to see her face again, if only for a moment.

As the days wore on, Bella continued to call, and I continued to avoid talking to her. My insides were dead. I cringed every time the damn phone rang. For a while, Dad even refused to pick up the stupid thing, then later came up with a lame excuse that our phone had been out of order.

I winced as I listened to my dad lie through his teeth. "He can't come to the phone right now; he's not feeling well.

"Jacob's in the shower.

"I'm sorry, he's not here. He's at the clinic.

"He's asleep; I don't want him disturbed."

If only _that_ one was true. I actually had a hard time sleeping. Wracked with guilt, I tossed and turned for nights on end, 'til finally exhausted, I'd occasionally get one good night of shuteye.

After one of those nights, we were patrolling when we caught the scent—that sickly sweet scent that turned us into killing machines. After all, we were made for this; our main purpose—to destroy those miserable leeches.

We followed the stench to a meadow, and I groaned inwardly as I also recognized another familiar scent—the unmistakable fragrance of freesia mixed with strawberry—Bella. Dammit, what the hell was she doing here? Then it hit me, this was the place we had been searching for, before I turned wolf.

The sight before us was chilling to say the least. The bloodsucker was talking to Bella, his dreadlocks softly swaying as he stroked her cheek. Her heartbeat was a dead giveaway that what he was telling her was not very reassuring. He lifted her hair to one side and as he got ready to strike, we pushed into the clearing. He turned in our direction, his disbelief quickly becoming terror—and he began to tread backward.

At that instant Bella's head whipped around toward me and I looked into her eyes. I could practically taste her fear. She was surrounded by monsters, but unknowingly, these particular monsters were here to protect her.

The pack was on the heels of the leech immediately. I wanted nothing more than to stay with Bella, but my duty to the cause took precedence. I had to leave her in the clearing.

Chasing the bloodsucker posed no challenge to us. We made short work of the beast. He wouldn't be dining on anyone else ever again. I can't say that being a shape shifter hadn't ruined _my_ life, but today, I had helped to save the life of my best friend, and for that I was grateful.

* * *

I begged Sam, _Please, you gotta let me trail after her to make sure she makes it home okay. I promise I'll keep a safe distance. She'll never know I'm behind her. _

_All right, but you're not to phase back and contact her in any way. As soon as she gets to her doorstep, you're to return to La Push. That's an order._

_Thanks, Sam. You won't regret this. I promise_

* * *

I followed her all the way to her truck. It was a miracle she made it there in one piece. She was rushing off in the wrong direction at first, and of course tripped over roots and branches, and nothing it seemed, landing belly first in the bracken several times. I wanted to help her in the worst way, but Sam's words left me with no choice but to watch helplessly from my vantage point as she wound her way, struggling through the forest. Finally, Bella remembered the compass in her pocket, and got steered back onto the right track.

* * *

A couple of days later, I woke up sometime in the afternoon, sniffing the air. No mistaking it, Bella had been in my room while I slept. I left my bed, and groggily sauntered to the living room. Billy wheeled toward me.

"Bella's waiting outside, Son; she refused to leave. You're going to have to talk to that girl. The pack's just inside the tree line, watching her."

This was gonna be the most difficult thing I had ever done in my life—telling the girl that I loved more than life, to get lost. How could I do this to her? I was just as bad as the leech that left her broken. I'd made promises that I now couldn't keep. What a traitor I was, but it had to be done. She wasn't safe around me, Sam said.

What if he was wrong? What if I would be hurting her for nothing? It would kill us both. She and Charlie would despise me—no more than I despised myself already, I thought. There had to be someway around this. But for now, I took a deep breath and crept out the back door, heading toward the tree line to speak to Sam.

* * *

"Man. I've never seen a girl so stubborn," Embry commented.

Sam pointed to the Chevy parked in our front yard. "She's been sitting in her truck now for two hours, waiting for you. This has got to stop. She can't be hanging around here. You have to tell her, Jake. I don't care how much it hurts."

_Of course not. It's not your heart that's being shattered beyond repair_. "I'll talk to her. I won't like it, but I'll make it a clean break."

I trotted out of the trees with Sam, Embry, Paul and Jared following behind. They stayed back just enough to not be so intimidating, but close enough for her to see we meant business.

I put on my no-nonsense mask, as I got closer. I tapped on the glass pane, and she looked up, startled. Bella rolled down the window.

I leaned over the opening. "Get out of the truck. We're goin' for a walk."

Bella stepped down from the cab, slamming the door closed behind her. She struggled to keep up with me, as I tried to get far enough out of the pack's earshot.

It was raining, and she looked all wet and bedraggled, adding to her pitiful appearance. I opened my mouth and let the harsh words spill off my tongue, all the while aching to reach out and hug her to my bare chest.

"What are you doing here, Bella? I thought I made it pretty clear that you shouldn't come 'til I said you could."

She took a few steps forward, and crossed her arms in front of her. "Well, you didn't call, and I had to see you for myself. Dad said you were out with some friends a few days ago. I didn't want to believe him, but now I see that it's true.

"I thought you were too sick to go anywhere, or to pick up the phone once in a while and call. Have you been lying to me all this time?"

"What difference does it make? We can't be around each other anymore. The Jacob you remember is gone."

"I can see that. You've cut off all your hair and tattoed your arm. You've joined Sam's ranks. How incredibly smart of you."

I shook my head. "You don't understand. It's not what I thought. Sam is helping the whole tribe. Everyone looks up to him."

"He's helping the whole tribe, is he? How—by turning innocent boys into mindless robots?"

"Sam's not the one who did this to us."

"If not Sam, then who?"

I started to turn, attempting to walk away. "You don't want to hear this."

Grabbing my shoulder, she pulled me back to face her. "The hell, I don't. I want to know who turned my sweet Jacob into this uncaring brute."

God, that stung, but she knew all along who those bastards were. My eyes were slits as I hissed at her. "Why don't you place the blame where it belongs—on those dirty bloodsuckers? You know, the ones that you love so much."

I knew that hit a nerve, 'cuz I saw her jerk suddenly. She still tried to deny it. She backed up, away from me. "I ... I don't know who you mean."

That leech left her to rot in the forest, and she was defending him? God dammit! It was his family's fault that the young guys in La Push were suddenly doomed to be shape shifters.

I threw out the next line in a sarcastic tone. "Think hard, Bella. You're still hopelessly stuck on one of them."

Gazing down at the soggy ground beneath her feet, she hesitated.

"You can't even say their name, can you? Here, let me refresh your memory—it's the Cullens."

She couldn't look at me. That's when I went in for the kill. "Go home, Bella. I don't want you back here, anymore."

Her lips started to quiver, and I felt my heart split open, the blood pouring out of it, pooling in my feet.

"You don't mean that. You're my best friend. I know you want more, and I honestly want to give more of myself to you. You mean the world to me. I can't make it without you. Please ... don't do this. You can't break up with me. I can't lose you—not now; I ... I can't take it ... I just can't take it, Jacob."

She was wringing her hands as she spoke. The water droplets were streaming down her sad little face, tearing me up inside. "If you could give me just a little more time, maybe I would change. I promise. I'll try really hard. Only, please say you won't leave me like he did."

Stepping closer, she reached out toward me. My hands immediately went up, with palms out to stop her. "Don't touch me!"

God, all this time, I would've died for one touch from her, and here I was telling her not to put her hands on me. I turned quickly before she could see the anguish on my face, and trotted back to Sam and the others.

She stood there, staring after me for a few minutes, and resigned that we were finished, started to walk to her truck. On the way, she slid in the mud, and fell on her side. Paul and Embry were holding onto me, knowing I would rush to her aid. Her sobs painfully filled my ears, as she picked herself up, and slipped back down again onto the water slicked earth. She finally made it to her feet on the second try, and got into the cab. I could still hear her crying above the rumble of the truck as she pulled out onto the road.

* * *

I couldn't feel any worse if someone had stabbed me in the chest. I wanted to scream out loud. Instead, I shifted, and took off running, Paul was on my heels. My emotions were raw, but that didn't stop him from making a snide remark.

"Oh, boo hoo. You think you're the only one who's had his heart dashed to pieces. Get a grip!"

With that being said, he turned around and headed home, leaving me to do my duty and patrol the area with Sam and Jared. When the shift ended, a thought began to form. I phased instantly to hide it from the guys. I couldn't let things stand this way between Bella and me, so since Sam didn't say I couldn't go to _her_ house specifically, I hopped on my bike and sped to Forks. I needed her to understand. There had to be a way to skirt around the edges of Sam's orders. If nothing else, I had to see her to apologize; hopefully she would let me.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: The Truth Hurts

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

A/N: Thanks to WolfGirl Cheri for her eagle eye on these pages.

* * *

How did life get so hard? A few weeks ago I was happy, fixing bikes, riding horses, teasing Em and Quil. And now I was feeling sad and sorry, rushing toward Bella's with no thought for my own safety, wondering what in the holy hell I could possibly say to erase the hurt I caused her this afternoon. I wanted to kill Sam—he and his stupid gag orders. I was goin' to see Bella whether he liked it or not. Maybe she would forgive me, maybe not, but I had to at least try to explain.

I killed the engine several houses down from Bella's, and walked the bike to her side yard outside her bedroom. The last thing I needed was for Charlie to wake up and find me parked outside his home at this hour. Things would get ugly in a hurry.

Standing under her room, I overheard the soft weeping of the girl I broke this afternoon. I felt like scum; I was worse than that Cullen guy, 'cuz I promised her I would always be there for her. Some promise!

I looked around on the ground and picked up a handful of gravel from the driveway and started lobbing them at her window. Ping—strike one. I threw another one. Ping—strike two. And another. Ping—this time, the casement opened and Bella stuck her head out.

"What do you want, Jake? Why are you here, anyway? I thought we couldn't be friends anymore."

"I know what I said. I was there, remember? Now get outta the way; I'm comin' up."

I climbed the pine tree closest to the wall of her house and starting swinging on a branch, meaning to propel myself in through her window.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? You're gonna kill yourself."

"No I won't; I'll be fine. Just look out!"

I launched from the bough and vaulted over the sill landing quietly on my feet on the other side of the window.

She glared at me with red, puffy eyes. I walked timidly toward her. "Bella ... I'm so—"

She immediately stiff-armed me. In any other circumstance, her palm on my bare chest would've had me moaning with pleasure.

This was definitely not the time; she had her claws out.

"I don't want to listen to anything more you have to say. Now get out!"

"No—wait. I realize I said some pretty awful things to you. But I'm here now to apologize. I'm so, so sorry."

"I don't accept your lousy apology. The damage has been done. Now scamper on back to your precious Sam and his muscle-bound clowns."

I grabbed her hand before she could remove it from my chest, and raising it to my cheek, fell to my knees. My tear ducts betrayed me and the wet drops started to well up in my eyes. "Please ... don't send me away. I've been dead since your truck left my yard. Please ... you've gotta forgive me. I know I don't deserve it. But ... god, Bella, I didn't want to say those things to you, you've gotta know that. Sam ordered me to make you leave for good. He said it wasn't safe for me to be around you."

Bella quickly lost her anger when she saw how utterly miserable I was. She fisted my hair, and hissed, "I hate what he's done to you. Can't you get away from him?"

Dropping her hand, I got up off my knees, walked to her bed and flopped down, emotionally spent. "It's not something I can run away from. I'm enlisted for life," I groaned.

She sat down beside me, and interlocked her fingers with mine. "What do you mean by that?"

Nervously, I began rubbing my forehead with my free hand. "I wish I could explain, but I literally can't tell you."

"That's not true. You've always been able to tell me anything."

I lifted my eyes to hers. "But you don't understand. This is something I'm not allowed to share. Just like you have things you can't share with anyone. Don't you see? It's not yours ... or mine ... to tell."

Bella stood up and began pacing about the room. What she said next was a shocker. "I can't stand to see you like this. I'm getting you out of here. I have some money saved. We could leave right now—run away together—just you and me, even if only for a little while."

She was serious. "I can't believe you'd do that for me. You sure you really want to do this?"

"Yes—I want to help you, Jacob. Now let me pack a suitcase, and leave Charlie a note. We'll stop on the way to pick up some of your clothes.

We were out the door in fifteen minutes, with the bike in the truck bed, and on our way to La Push. Stopping at my house, I stuffed some clothes, shoes and money in a bag, left a note, and we were on the road again.

* * *

She was nearly falling asleep at the wheel. Since we were an hour outside of La Push; I figured that was far enough away from all the drama.

"Let's call it a night, huh? You're so tired, you probably can't even see the road. You want me to drive?"

"Just a little further. I'll pull into the next motel. You must be tired too. How long have you been awake?"

I couldn't help the yawn that escaped. "Since three this morning."

Her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. "Oh my gosh, Jake. You've been up more than twenty-four hours. Why were you up so early?"

I sighed. "I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about you. The fact is, I haven't been able to sleep for weeks now. I knew you were wondering why I wouldn't return your calls. The guilt ate at me night after night."

"You still haven't told me what this is all about."

"I don't know if I can, Bella."

"You can try, can't you?"

I opened my mouth, and my throat began to constrict. Great! I'd have to skirt the issue in a roundabout way.

Clearing my throat—for all the good it did—I attempted to explain my situation to her. "Remember that first day at the beach? And I told you—"

My tongue became a lump of lead—it was totally paralyzed, dammit. I looked at Bella to help me out.

She glanced at me for a second. "Yeah ... go on."

I struggled to form some words again. "And—what did I say?"

"You told me some stories, about the cold ones."

"And ..."

"And the shape—"

Bella slammed on the brakes. "Are you telling me ...?"

I nodded my head.

She turned off the engine, and bending over the dash, exhaled loudly. "So I'm helping a criminal ... a murderer escape the police."

That got my attention. I was wide awake now. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Lifting her head, she remarked, "Jake—I've seen the headlines in the papers. I've seen the news on TV. All those hikers being killed—and all this time it was you and Sam and the rest of his thugs. How could you? Those were innocent people. They didn't deserve that. Am I next on the list?"

"Whaaat? Noooo! I can't believe you would even think that. Do I look like a murderer to you?

"You've got it all wrong. We protect the people from those dirty leeches, but sometimes we get there too late."

"If not you ... then, who?"

"There's some crazy redhead, dancing around out there. Somehow she always seems to escape us."

Bella finally straightened up in her seat. She turned to me then, and I could see the frightened look in her eyes.

Shaking my head sadly, I groaned, "Okay, I get it. Look, I'll just run back to La Push. You find a motel, and get some sleep. I guess I should've realized. You could love that nasty parasite, but I'm not the right kind of monster for you, right? I understand perfectly."

"No, you _don't_ understand. I'm fine with the shape-shifting thing. It's that redhead, Victoria, and Laurent."

"You know her? What the hell does she want? We've been chasing her for weeks."

My blood ran cold when she told me, "She's after me. Edward killed her mate, James—mate for a mate."

She rolled up her sleeve. "See this scar?"

Running my fingers over the telltale area, I jerked my head in surprise. I'd seen it before, but didn't really examine it that carefully. Ogling it now, it looked like someone had bitten her. Those were definitely teeth marks. Whoa, could it be? But how could she still be human?

Her head nodded at me, affirming my worst suspicions. "It's just what you think. James bit me, and Edward killed him. He sucked out the venom—you know ... like they do for a snake bite. He saved me from becoming one of them."

I was horrified. She kept it inside herself for all this time. No wonder she was so messed up. She couldn't tell anyone. I knew what that felt like.

Bella pulled the sleeve back down over that glaring reminder of her ordeal. "So, Victoria probably thinks he and I are still together. Her revenge will be draining _me_, only he'll never know."

"Well, but, who's this Laurent guy you mentioned?"

"He's the one that was in the meadow with me. I'm assuming that was you in the clearing that day."

"Oh, him ... You don't need to worry about that guy anymore. He's history."

Those chocolate eyes widened in surprise. "You mean he's dead?"

I smirked in satisfaction. "As a doornail."

I hated to change the subject, but it wasn't getting any earlier. "Hey, Bells ... not that this hasn't been an interesting conversation and all, but I'd really like to hit the sack. I'm about ready to crash."

"Me too, I saw a sign back there advertizing a motel two miles from here."

She keyed the ignition and we rumbled along to the Pinetop Motel.

* * *

Bella wouldn't let me pay for the room seeing as this her idea. I told her I'd finance the food though, since I'd be eating the biggest portion of it.

I opened the door to the room. One queen-sized bed stared back at us. That was awkward.

She was standing there in the doorway, biting her lip. I glanced her way. "Don't worry. I'll sleep on the floor. No problem."

"I can't let you do that ... you're exhausted. You deserve a good night's sleep in a comfortable bed."

"Whatever you say. I'll sleep on top of the sheets, so I don't get too ... well, you know."

Her face flushed brightly, so she turned around to close the door behind her.

I pointed my thumb over my shoulder toward the bathroom. "I'm gonna take a quick shower, so I don't get the blankets all dirty. I came straight to your house from patrolling the woods, so I'm kinda full of leaves and junk. Do you need to use the toilet first?"

"Let me just brush my teeth, and then I'll get ready for bed."

* * *

When I got out of the shower, she was out cold. I stared at her, asleep, with her hair all splayed out on the pillow and her lips all pink and parted. I smiled at the sight of her. This day was the pits, but boy the night was really shaping up. I slid under the covers, being careful not to wake her. Any other night I would have to keep a careful rein on my hormones, but I was so dead, I fell into a deep sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I was sound asleep for an hour or so, when Bella started moaning and twitching in her sleep. Charlie had told Dad that she almost stopped having nightmares while she and I were seeing each other. I guess, in the weeks we were apart, they started up again.

She was mumbling in her sleep. I made out, _please, no ... and Toria._ Her movements were getting more restless. Suddenly, she started tossing about wildly. I pulled the sheets out from under me, and got closer. Rolling her toward me, I placed my arms around her. She began to scream, trying to pull away.

I whispered in her ear. "Bells ... Bells ... It's okay, honey. It's only a dream. Shhhh ... No one's gonna hurt you. I'm here. She won't get past me, I'll always protect you."

Her struggling stopped. "Jake?" she murmured, in a shaky voice. "Oh, god, Jake ... hold me, please."

Shifting my weight in the bed, I pulled her by the waist, drawing her in closer to me. "I've got you. I won't let you go."

Burrowing my nose in her hair, I held her snugly. She was still shaking from head to toe, her breaths hitching erratically. Soon I could sense her heart beat as it returned to normal, and her breathing starting to even out, as she slowly drifted off again.

I was once more wrapped around her, in more ways than one. What was I doing? Did I know or even care? All I knew was the secret was out, and she was still with me, her head nestled under my chin, sharing this bed. But would I regret it when the sun came up in the morning?


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: A Breakthrough

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

Man, that was the best sleep I'd had in ages. I was finally able to truly relax. My gut was unknotted, no longer holding onto the big Quileute secret, and the girl I loved so much was snuggled up beside me, totally accepting of that secret. The wrinkles in my life were slowly smoothing out.

I wanted to shout when I opened my eyelids, realizing I was actually here, away from La Push—

away from my troubles for the time being. Sam was gonna be so pissed, but I didn't give a damn about it. I'd deal with him later.

Afraid to move, I just lay there inhaling her scent, drinking in the sight of her, listening to the steady rhythm of her heart, and luxuriating in the feel of her form pressed against me. This was one of the moments I wished I could place in a book of memories, preserving it, and taking it out whenever I chose to—reliving it all over again. Why are all the good moments so fleeting? Why couldn't I hold onto them? And so, I held my breath, stretching out these precious minutes for as long as I could.

While I waited for her to wake up, I had time to ponder this situation. Hell, giddy as a little girl—that's what I was. Here, the girl of my dreams had run off with me. Well, technically, I ran away with her. I got to thinking though—jeez, I'd been doing a lot of that lately—if she would go out of her way to hide me from Sam, then maybe her feelings toward me had changed since that day in the rain. And maybe she _was_ trying harder to dig deep into her heart and share a piece with this boy.

Bella had always been kinda nervous around me, ever since the arrival of the junk heaps that she brought with her to the Taj. When the transition to wolf gradually began, I could actually hear her heart beat speed up whenever I looked at her. Body reactions didn't lie. Deep down, she felt it, and I knew she could feel it without a doubt.

The time passed too quickly, and those little chocolate circles soon peeped out at me, blinking away the remnants of sleep. A smile accompanied the eye blinks.

"Good morning, beautiful," I whispered. "You sleep okay?"

A rush of crimson colored her cheeks. "After that horrible nightmare, yeah. Thanks, Jacob. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here with me."

"Hey, you kidnapped me, remember? Not that I'm complaining or anything." I couldn't help the silly grin that streaked across my face.

Bella wiggled in my arms. "You can let go of me now."

_Do I have to? You feel sooo good, and who knows when I'll ever get the chance again?_ "You know I don't want to, right?"

"C'mon, Jake, you're so hot ... I'm sweltering. I need a cold shower."

_That makes two of us._ "Spoilsport. I was just thinking, since we shared a bed and all last night, maybe we could share the shower. It'd save a lot of time, not to mention, the water. Whaddya say?" My eyebrows made tiny waves on my forehead.

Her smile dropped off her face and was replaced by a frown. It was followed by a very loud sigh.

It was my turn to sigh. "Hey, you've gotta give me credit for trying. Okay, okay, let me go get dressed, and I'll rustle up some food for us while you get cleaned up."

Hauling my butt out of bed, I grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom. I ran a comb through my rumpled hair and brushed my teeth, just in case. So? I was a hopeless romantic. It _could_ happen, and I was gonna be ready when it did.

* * *

Running down to the coffee shop attached to the motel, I ordered some breakfast. I told the waitress I'd be back in a few, and whistled my way to our room. _Our room, how I loved the sound of that. _

I guess Bella didn't hear me unlock the door, because she let out a shriek. She had just gotten out of the shower and was ready to wrap the damp towel around herself when I popped into the room unexpectedly.

She grabbed the towel, bunching it in her fist, and clenched it in a death grip in front of her chest. A pink blush traveled from her hairline clear down to her toes.

I quickly clapped a hand over my peepers, but not before I got an eyeful. I backed up slowly, muttering, "Sorry, sorry."

Oh man, that scenic view was gonna crowd out all other thoughts in my brain today. Before I closed the door, I said, "I'm goin' down to the coffee shop. Meet me there when you're done dressing."

* * *

She looked a little rattled when she sat down next to me. I guess I couldn't blame her. Although, truth be told, I was just as rattled.

"I really am sorry, Bella. But I figured you'd still be in the shower. If it makes you feel any better, I saw my sister Rachel in her altogether once."

I winked at her and laid on the Jacob Black charm. "Here's a thought. I can always take off my clothes when we get back to the room, and give you a peek, then we'll be even, okay?"

Bella relaxed, and smiled. "That won't be necessary, you idiot. Next time, knock first."

_Jeez, that wouldn't be any fun. Now why the hell would I want to do that?_

* * *

With our hands clasped together, we walked back to the room. "Soooo, what do you want to do today? I'm open to suggestions here."

"Well, I think there's a lake nearby, and they rent boats. Do you want to go out on the lake?"

"First things, first ... Do you know how to swim?"

Her feet stopped, and I stopped with them. "What?"

"Of course I know how to swim. Why would you even ask me that?"

"You're from Arizona—no rain, no ocean—the land of desert and cactus. I figured if you'd never ridden a horse before, then you've probably never been in the water either."

Those adorable pools of liquid brown rolled around in a whirlpool of exasperation. I watched as they made their journey, transfixed. I rotated my head in a circle just to get a rise out of her, and she didn't disappoint. Her free hand swatted me on the shoulder.

"Ow—that bruise could take months to heal. Aren't you at least gonna say you're sorry?"

"I would if I was—but I'm not. Anyway, you were making fun of me."

"You're right, let's kiss and make up."

She had no comment for that one, only a glare that could ward off—oh ... maybe a vampire or two—but not this wolf.

* * *

I had to admit, floating on the lake was nice and peaceful—just what the doctor ordered. I closed my eyes for a few minutes listening to the water lap against the side of the boat. When I opened them, I caught Bella staring at me. Her eyes instantly fell away, directed now to the wooden bottom of the boat.

"Something wrong?" Why was she blushing all of a sudden?

"No, I'm ... um ... curious, that's all. I've got about a bazillion questions to ask you. Do you mind?"

"Fire away, Bells."

"I guess the biggest question I need to ask is: Why did Sam think you would hurt me?"

I leaned forward, picking my words carefully so I wouldn't scare her. Now that she knew about us, it seemed I was no longer tongue-tied, thank god. "A new shape-shifter has some control issues. Sam got mad at Emily once; went wolf and nearly killed her. For some reason, I seem to be able to manage phasing easily. Sam's surprised at how fast I caught on, but he still worries." I pulled a face and in a husky voice said, "Don't get me upset though, all right?

"I guess that's not something to joke about, but you get the gist of it. Even so, I don't think there's any way I could ever hurt you, Bells."

"What about all the heat? Gosh, I was sweating this morning."

I nodded. "It's a wolf thing. I can also hear your heart beating right now, and smell that shampoo you always use, and—and the better to see you my dear. "

"And the moon has nothing to do with your ... phasing?"

"Nothing whatever; that's a Hollywood myth. Anyway, I'm a shape-shifter, not a werewolf. There's no such thing as a werewolf."

"I didn't think there was any such thing as a vampire either, and yet there's a bona fide vampire after me."

"Not for long, honey."

"How can you feel so confident? They're like ... super-sonic fast."

"Oh, yeah? Don't make me laugh. We made _fast_ work of the vamp with the dreadlocks. He didn't know what hit him."

Bella gripped my arm. Man, she looked so serious. "Jake ... Promise me you'll be careful. I don't know what I'd do if something ever happened to you."

Then, without me prompting her or initiating anything, her palm found its way to my cheek. Huuuuh ... my heart stuttered in my chest. Yes, finally the girl was giving part of herself to me, a small part to be sure, but nonetheless, I felt all soft and squishy under her touch. My hand instinctively reached up and lay over hers holding it there. _I love you, Bella._

When she drew her hand away, she leaned over and kissed the area sweetly. I joked half-heartedly as I pointed to my waiting lips. "A little more to the left, honey."

"You ...!" she chastised me. She stood up to slug me again, and the boat swayed. Of course she lost her balance and landed in my lap.

"Now that's more like it," I chortled, as my hands clamped around her shoulders.

Bella wriggled out of my arms, and practically crawling back to her seat, she sat down, and started to giggle. My Bella—giggling. Music to my ears.

Like two little kids, we grinned at each other, and as I rowed to shore, we sang, _Row, row, row your boat ..._

* * *

Returning to the motel, we ate lunch and went back to the room. I got out a deck of cards and we played 99 for awhile.

"Do you know how to play poker?"

Looked like Bella had another secret.

"When did you learn to play poker?"

"Phil taught me when I lived in phoenix. I didn't like to play for money though."

I started shuffling the cards. "It would be a lot more interesting if we played for bigger stakes. How 'bout a nice friendly game of—strip poker?"

_There goes that eye roll again._

"I think that would be getting a little _too_ friendly."

"Oh, c'mon, Bells, live a little. Now's your chance to see me naked. Once in a lifetime opportunity."

"Don't you ever stop?"

"Hey, I'm just trying to keep us entertained. Look, I'm just kiddin'. Forget the cards; let's go for a walk."

* * *

Not taking any risks, I made it a point to stay out of the surrounding woods. I didn't smell any vamp stench, but that redhead was sneaky, and I didn't want her to put one over on me. There was also a chance that Sam and his cohorts might be in the vicinity, and I wasn't about to have my respite cut short.

We meandered around the motel, and window shopped at the stores dotting the highway. It was getting toward dinner time, so we stopped to get a bite, then headed back.

I wasn't the least bit tired, but Bella was dragging. Letting go of her hand, I crouched down, with my back to her. "Get up on my shoulders, honey. I'll take you the rest of the way."

Trotting along the highway, we sang and laughed 'til we reached the room. I sat on the bed and let her fall backward onto the mattress. She was too pooped to move, so Bella sat there and watched TV while I showered again.

I yelled from the bathroom, "Hey, Bells, can you get me the deodorant out of my bag?"

Toweling off my hair, I looked up as Bella entered the bathroom with the Right Guard in her hand. She had already changed into her pjs—cute little grey flannel pants and top, with tiny white French kittens on them. They weren't exactly her style; her mom probably bought them for her.

Her eyes scanned every inch of my body—well what she could see of it, anyway—when she thought I wasn't looking. And as usual, her pulse quickened. Handing me the plastic tube, she took a step back, and lingered in the doorway, as I applied it to my underarm. She was definitely staring again and biting on her bottom lip.

"What?"

"Nothing ... I ... nothing," she mumbled.

She stumbled backward, and accidentally bumped against the doorjamb, then turned and made a hasty retreat. I put the deodorant down on the shelf behind the sink, then pulled my tee over my head, as I padded out to the bed.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: In Dreams

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

* * *

Bella was already in bed pretending to be asleep. She of all people should know she couldn't outfox a wolf. Her heart was still hammering away, and in no way was her breathing in sleep mode. I guess my _irresistibleness_ was finally getting to her. That was okay by me, but I craved a bit more. I wanted the real deal. I wanted her to love me for who I was, not what I looked like—not that I wasn't getting a little aroused myself.

That little view of _her_ anatomy this morning started replaying in my head as soon as I climbed onto the mattress, so I made sure there was not only the sheet but the blanket between us as well.

It took me forever to fall asleep; at least an hour after Bella had crashed. Sometime in the middle of the night, she began moaning again. I thought my being with her would chase those freakin' nightmares away. Anyway, I woke up and found myself back under the covers flush against her with one hand under her top stroking her bare breast. Jeez, I pulled my hand away as fast as I could, but I heard her whimper my name as she tried to pull it back to its previous _location_. What the hell ...?

Her moaning got louder. Was it my imagination, or was this anything _but_ a nightmare? My Bella was having a very naughty dream about yours truly.

"Jacob ... my Jacob ..." she murmured. "Please ... please ..."

Was I hearing this right?

"Yes ... oh ... that feels sooo good."

I strained my ears but couldn't make out what else she was mumbling in her sleep, but then, she let out, "Oh, oh—oh my god, Jake!"

A shudder all at once coursed through her body. It was more like a Bella-quake. Holy hell, I think she ... Did she actually just ...? Hell, yeah, she did!

I jerked away from her in shock, and fell off the end of the bed, landing on the carpet.

Stunned, I sat on the floor for a moment. I knew it, and this clinched it—Bella wanted me, at least subconsciously.

I stood up, still dazed, and grabbed the pillow off the bed. Sh**, I'd love to be the one giving her pleasure in person, but I couldn't take advantage no matter how excited I was. No way, could I get back in that bed with her either, not in the condition I was in ... I was too hot to handle right about now. She was asleep. I was only her dream lover at this point, dammit.

* * *

Back to the floor, I had barely drifted off again, when I heard Bella moving about in the bed. I opened one eye and there was her head hanging over the edge of the mattress.

"What are you doing down there? Come back to bed; that can't be comfortable."

_Was she kiddin' me?_ "No thanks."

"Well, what happened? Why are you sleeping on the floor like that? Was I keeping you awake? Was I talking in my sleep?"

_If you only knew ..._ "You could say that."

Her eyes widened. "Oh my gosh, what did I say?"

"I don't wanna tell you, unless you enjoy being embarrassed." I hesitated, as she tilted her head, looking confused. "Okay, let's just say you were having a very ... uh ... vivid dream. And now, I'm protecting you—from me, and I'm having a really hard time of it too."

I saw the glimmer of understanding flood her eyes. "Oh."

Her head retracted, and the patter of her feet sounded as she walked around the bed. Now what?

I lifted up slightly while Bella walked toward me with a blanket held in her hand. She crouched down at my side and laid the cover over me, tucking in the edges. Then, smoothing my hair back from my face, whispered, "G'night, Jake."

I closed my eyes, a smile forming on my lips.

* * *

Phew, what a night. Still ... I wouldn't trade that experience for a million bucks.

I got up off the floor, after sniffing the blanket, inhaling my favorite scent. I placed the pillow back on the bed and headed out for the bathroom.

Bella was just waking up as I stood ready to go down for breakfast. "Hey, the bathroom's all yours, and for Pete's sake, put your clothes on while you're in there. You about gave me a heart attack yesterday." _Unless of course you'd like to do the horizontal Tango with me while you're wide awake—in which case, I'll gladly join you back under the covers. Yeah, I can dream too, can't I?_

* * *

After breakfast, I watched a little TV while Bella sat by the window reading a book—Pride and Prejudice, I think it was. Jeez, I should've brought along some auto mechanic magazines. Now _those_, I would look at. I didn't know how she could reread those boring ol' English Romances over and over again.

My stomach started rumbling, so I grabbed Bella by the hand, lifting her from her seat. "Feeding time for the growing boy. C'mon let's go."

She slid a bookmark between the pages, and put it down on the chair. "Holy cow, how can you be hungry already? We just ate ... like, three hours ago."

"And?"

Her head shook in disbelief. "Oh, never mind."

* * *

Three hamburgers, two sides of French fries, and a couple of cokes later, I was feeling satisfied again. Bella ate a salad and a glass of water; no wonder she was so thin.

Since I had such a crappy night's sleep last night, I lay down and took a nap. When I woke, I caught Bella ogling me for the umpteenth time. I sat up stretching and sighing, looking over at her. Hot damn, her eyes quickly shifted to the book in her hands, the little minx.

I couldn't resist—I put my shoes on and walked toward her. Hunkering down in front of her, I flipped up the book slightly. "Jeez, Bells, aren't you tired of reading this yet? Let's go outside and get some fresh air."

The eye roll began as she said, "You know, it wouldn't hurt you to read the classics."

"Hey, I'm insulted. I've read Romeo and Juliet."

In a sarcastic tone, she remarked, "And so did all the other students in your Lit class."

"So, you're gonna get picky, huh? What—you want me to recite love poems to you like your ex?" _Why the hell did I let that slip out?_

Her arm immediately wrapped around her waist, and she turned away. Bella was silent, looking out the window, avoiding my gaze.

I'd had enough of this crap. We were supposed to be together in our own little world, and Cullen wasn't invited. I was as frustrated as all get out. My voice sounded harsher than I intended, as I blared, "You know, I've been as patient as I can be, but it's getting to the point that I just can't stand this anymore."

With a hand on her shoulder, I spun her to face me as I cried, "Turn around, Bella, look at me, dammit!"

Her response? "Jacob, don't!" She threw her hands up to stop me from saying another word.

I grabbed her arms, pinning them to her sides as my eyes slammed into hers. "Jacob, don't! Jacob, don't! Do you know how many times you've said that to me? Do you know how sick I am of hearing it? I'm betting you never said that to Cullen, did you? You probably begged him to touch you, or to say the things I'm aching to say to you.

I shook her in exasperation, and choking on my words, exploded, "I'm someone who really _loves_ you—like it or not. I can't help myself. And here you are, throwing it back in my face. You're still thinking of _him _after all this time. Get your head outta the sand; are you that stupid? He's never coming back. Can't you see that? Why can't you let him go?

"You know, what really kills me is that I'm standing right in front of you, but you just _don't_ see me. How do you think that makes me feel?"

I drew in a breath, and choking on my words, sputtered, "Well, I'll tell you little girl—I feel like a nothing, a nobody, like I don't matter, like you don't give a sh** about me. That's how I feel.

"And don't you dare tell me _you_ don't have any feelings for me either, 'cuz you do, if you really think about it. You want me too. I can tell how attracted you are to me. You think I can't hear your heart racing every time our eyes meet, or your breath speeding up like a runaway train when you brush up against me?

"You asked me what happened last night. Well, whether you want to believe it or not, we were making mad passionate love together in your dreams. It was so intense that you actually _popped your cookies_, okay?

"I had to get out of the bed to prevent myself from jumping your bones—you had me that excited."

"Jacob ... I—"

The tears started to well up as I pulled away from her. I hung my head, and bitterly growled, "Forget it.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. I should go. You can return my clothes when you get back to La Push."

Trudging wearily to the door, I was stopped in my tracks by Bella's shout, "No, wait."

In an instant her arms were around my neck, then she kissed away a tear that had trickled down my face.

Her cheek was pressed against mine, as she murmured, "You're not a nobody. Don't ever say that. And you _do_ matter; I care about you, or we wouldn't be sharing this room right now."

Those chocolate eyes lifted to meet mine. "I love you, Jacob. How could you not know that?"

My head moved back and forth in bitter disappointment. "But it's not enough."

Her palms reached out and stilled my movement. "I'm trying so hard. I really am."

"I know ... but it hurts every time I look at you. I want you to be mine, to choose me for always."

Her lips began to quiver. "You're not going to leave me again are you?"

"You know I can't. It nearly killed me being away from you for those few weeks. I'm just ... so full of heartache. I can't take much more of it."

Bella sighed loudly and snuggled into my chest, holding me tighter.

In a small voice, she blurted, "Are we good now?"

I clicked my tongue, defeated. I was such a sucker for her. "Yeah, we're good."

After a few minutes, she peered up at me with a smile on a face, which was slowly turning red.

"Um ... did I really pop my cookies last night?"

I deadpanned, "There were crumbs all over the sheets, honey."

* * *

Sitting together on the bed, after dinner, I had my arm around Bella's shoulder; she had her head resting in the crook of my neck. We were watching a silly movie called _The Gods must be Crazy._ Laughter was exactly what we needed. Everything was fine 'til my stomach started talking to me. I loosened my arm from around her. "I'm gonna go get a snack. You want anything?"

"No, I'm fine."

I bought a couple bags of pretzels, and two cans of pop. I also decided to get some ice while I was at it. As I was filling a bag with the ice, I heard Bella crying. Jeez, I guess I was too rough on her earlier.

I entered the room sheepishly, ready to apologize for yelling at her, when I noticed the cell phone in her hand. She lifted it in the air, so I could see why she was crying.

I swiftly dropped the ice in the bucket, and put the snacks on the table. "Hey, hey, hey ... what is this?"

"My dad just called to make sure we were okay," she choked.

"You're homesick, aren't you? I knew this couldn't last much longer. C'mere, Bells."

She got up off the bed, and slid into my arms. I tucked her head under my chin and kissed her hair. "We probably should go home tomorrow. You said so yourself—we could run away together even if only for a little while. Well, our little while is up, but it was good for us. I'm ready to face the music with Sam, and get back to my responsibilities now. I realize I can't escape my destiny forever. So, let's drink to going home."

Dropping my arms, I pointed to the table. "I bought us some root beer." I grinned widely as I added, "With ice!"

* * *

As we lay in bed beside each other, I whispered, "Thanks for inviting me to run off with you. I'll never forget that you did this for me."

Bella quietly answered, "What are best friends for? Oh ... wait ... I meant ... more than best friends."

I could totally live with that—for now. Bella was as big as a continent in my own little world, and that comment made the whole planet fill with sunshine.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: On the Edge

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

Thanks to my beta, WolfGirl Cheri for combing through this chapter and erasing my mistakes.

* * *

No regrets—I had none about taking off with Bella. It was the best thing I had ever done for myself, and our relationship. I only hoped that she would see the light soon. I could endure the crappy turn of events in my life if she would only be mine.

We packed up our meager belongings, and went to breakfast. When we returned to load up our bags into the truck, I took one last look about the room. I smiled remembering the nights sharing that very bed with Bella beside me, and the sight of the sweet girl as she emerged naked from the bathroom one morning. That particular memory would always remain ingrained in my mind, although somehow, the towel she so hastily pulled in front of herself was conveniently missing. Okay, so even though I had gone wolf, I was still one-hundred-percent-teenaged-hormone-driven-male.

Bella and I laughed and talked all the way to La Push. I pulled up into the yard, and we both got out. We hugged each other, and she got into the driver's seat. Then, honking the horn, she started to back up. That's when Sam came out of the house, angrily slamming the door shut behind him. He stood on the porch, his arms folded across his chest, and his face a block of stone. Here we go ...

I took my sweet time, waving goodbye to my partner in crime, then turned my attention to the red-faced warden glaring at me. I swaggered up to the porch steps, showing him that try as he might, he didn't have total control over _this_ wolf. He could yell all he wanted to. I'd gotten around his gag order, and now there was no stopping me. I'd see Bella any time I damn well felt like it.

His voice boomed, "You've been with Bella all this time?"

"Yeah, so what? Didn't Billy tell you?"

"He showed me your note. It didn't say where you were going."

I smirked at the blustering buffoon. "Maybe that would be 'cuz I didn't want you to know?"

His eyes narrowed; he didn't like getting lip from me. "I'm assuming she knows about our pack now. I don't think you realize what you've done. These are the Quileutes' sacred trusts and she has no business sharing in them."

Shrugging my shoulders, I shot back, "I didn't tell her a _thing_. She figured it out all by her lonesome."

"I also gave you an explicit order that she was not to be hanging around our land."

"And she didn't—you saw for yourself; she dropped me off and left."

He pointed a finger at me. "You're not supposed to be around that girl, period. How is it that you were with her?"

"You never breathed a word about me going to _her_ place."

He spoke with clenched teeth as he seethed, "I can see I'm getting nowhere with you, Jacob. Go ahead—you can see Bella all you want, and she can come here any time. The damage is already done, but I'm warning you, if anything happens to her because of your blatant disregard of the rules, it'll be on your head. That's all.

"You have patrol tonight and tomorrow night, to make up for the time you shirked your duty. Your brothers might forgive you for that infraction, but I won't. Don't let it happen again."

I saluted him sarcastically. "Yes, sir."

I heard him mutter, "Smartass," as he trotted back to Emily.

* * *

I met up with the pack, and was greeted with a very exuberant dark brown wolf. He flew across the forest floor and nearly landed on me.

_Jake, I finally made it to the pack. Isn't this the coolest? Man, the speed, the agility, the strength. Wow! I can't believe my good fortune._

_Glad you think so. I hate it._

Quil warily padded in front of me. We were nose to nose. _What's the matter with you? I thought you'd be glad to have me in the pack._

_I wouldn't wish this joke of a life on anyone. I was hoping you'd escape it._

_You got it all wrong. This is where the action is, pal. I'm lovin' it!_

Sam was restlessly walking back and forth. _Enough,_ he bellowed. _Let's get this show on the road._

We all set out, and unfortunately my mind drifted to—yeah, you got it, my personal centerfold. Ugh! I couldn't help it. I had no control over where my mind wandered.

_Damn, I forgive you for not being here when I phased. That was worth it. _

Paul let out a long howl. _Ooowwww!_ _I take it back. She's not as skinny as I thought. B cup at least. Nice legs too._

God, why did I have to share _that_ image? It was mine; for my eyes only. _C'mon, guys, lay off, huh?_

_No problem ... by the way, my congrats._

Quil playfully bumped my shoulder. _Yeah, congrats. The Ice Princess finally succumbed to your heat, you hot dog, you! Wait 'til I tell Embry, he'll flip out._

_No ... no ... I'm telling you, nothing happened._

_How do you define nothing? _

_It was an accident, okay? I walked in on her before she got dressed._

Paul snickered. _And you think we're gonna swallow that story? Sure, Jake. If anything, I'd say you were 'on and in her'— before she got dressed._

_Forget it. _Why couldn't they leave it alone?

I ran ahead of the pack, shutting myself off from these idiots.

**. . . . .**

For the next four weeks, Bella held my hand, stroked my arms, ruffled my hair, hugged me tight, and sat on my lap. Looked like our little escape jump-started her heart; hope was shining brightly before me. We still hadn't kissed yet, though. And oh, no ... I wasn't about to get my face slapped. I was waiting for _her_ to adhere those luscious lips to mine. _Would you mind trying a little harder, Bells? My lips are calling you. They've waited such a looong time._

So, anyhow, one day I got back to the house after my patrol, and saw Bella's truck outside. I looked around the living room, but she wasn't there. My dad smiled at me and said, "Bella was here looking for you. She said to meet her at First Beach."

It looked like it was about to storm, so I hurried to get there. I didn't find her by our driftwood log, but I caught her scent and got a glimpse of her up on the cliff—at the very top_. She better not be thinking about jumping. Sh**, she's gonna do it. It looks like a hurricane out here, and she's considering a jump, today of all days? Does she have a death wish?_

Bella was just removing her shoes, so I had time to reach her before she did the unthinkable. I literally flew up the path leading to the top of the cliff, grabbing her right before she pushed off. The weight of my body slamming into hers toppled us both over the edge and into the churning ocean below.

We plummeted into the icy water and somehow got separated. I was in a panic, diving under the waves searching for her. It took me a few terrifying minutes to find her, and when I did she wasn't breathing.

Swimming with all my might, I headed toward the shore with Bella's limp form in my grasp. I stopped every few seconds, attempting to breathe into her mouth. I laid her on the sand and started CPR. Thank god for those mandatory life saving classes.

_C'mon, Bella. Breathe for me, god dammit—breathe!_ After a few lungfuls of my air, she started to cough, the salt water spewing out of her mouth.

I was angry and relieved at the same time. I didn't know whether to kiss her or strangle her for scaring the sh** outta me.

"What the hell were you thinking, Bells? Do you need glasses? It's like a hurricane out here. Suppose I hadn't gotten to the cliff in time, huh? You'd be fish food. What would Charlie do without you? And what about me, don't you care about how I would feel? I'd never get over it."

Her lips began to quiver. "I'm sorry. Please don't yell at me."

I pulled her to my chest. "Don't _ever_ scare me like that again. God ... I nearly lost you."

Collecting her into my arms, I carried her home and laid her on the couch. There was a blanket draped over one of the arms, so I pulled the fabric around her, and went into my room to change and get her some dry clothes.

She donned my tee and sweat pants, while I stayed in the kitchen to give her some privacy. When she finished dressing, I took her wet clothes and put them in the oven to dry. Her top was that soft blue thing that I liked so well. I hoped the heat from the oven wouldn't ruin it.

Bella's lips were blue and she was still shivering, so I lifted her off the couch and put her in my bed, then I got in beside her wrapping myself around her. She clung to me, absorbing my heat.

Her voice was muffled as she spoke into my chest. "I don't deserve you, Jake. How do you put up with me?"

"Good question. You're gonna be the death of me, girl." I began to laugh, even though the situation was anything but laughable. "Maybe I should chain you to the bed, so you won't get in any more trouble."

She was quiet for a few minutes, then broke the silence with, "Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"I gotta pee."

* * *

The clothes dried out, and Bella put them back on. We were sitting on the couch together when there was a rap at the door. It was Embry. His usual cheery mood was strangely missing. His brow was furrowed, and his eyes were moist.

With his voice low, he informed me, "Hey, glad I found you. Sorry ... I have bad news. Billy and Charlie are at the hospital. Harry Clearwater had a heart attack. He didn't make it. I just thought you should know."

I couldn't believe it. The breath whooshed out of me; I was speechless. I finally nodded my head and uttered, "Thanks, Em."

He stepped back from the porch and quietly left.

I peered over my shoulder at Bella. She overheard his words, 'cuz her hand was clapped over her mouth.

"Oh my god, not Harry. What are they going to do? Seth is only fourteen. He needs his father."

She stood up from the couch. "I should go home. Maybe I could help somehow. I can cook up some food for them; it's the least I can do for Sue's family."

That was so Bella. Practically drowned this afternoon, and now thinking of others.

"You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

With my arm at her waist, I led her to the front door. "Okay, let's go then. I'll drive."

* * *

She was safely in the cab of her truck at least for the time being. We were on the way to her house, and I made it my job to keep her warm, and protect her from herself. She was right; I was practically a saint putting up with her reckless behavior. Instead, I should have had her over my knee, with her panties pulled down, giving her the spanking she deserved. _Jeez, with her panties pulled down, I don't know if I'd get to the spanking part._

I pulled the Chevy up to the curb. Talking to her quietly, it seemed like she wasn't listening—at all. She finally glanced up at me and I guess I must've had that _look_ in my eyes. I couldn't help it, I was so in love with her. She didn't like it though. It probably made her feel guilty, especially whenever I gave her that _look, _'cuzher eyes danced around the inside of the cab—everywhere but at me.

I shut my mouth, and leaned toward her slightly, giving her a chance to introduce me to her lips. Bella started to move back, pretending that she was trying to get out of the cab. So she went for it, reaching for the door handle. I tried to hide the pain of rejection I was feeling again, but it obviously showed on my face. Why couldn't she love what was good for her? It would make Charlie happy, Billy too—and me? I'd be ecstatic. But what about her? I was still her best friend, and _only_ her best friend; would that be enough to make _her_ happy? That was the big unanswered question.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Red Squared

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

Thank you WolfGirl Cheri for perusing my writing, and _righting_ it.

**A/N: For those of you have read my Drabbles, part of this will seem very familiar. I have adapted some of the lines from A Kiss and a Prayer, changed it from third person, and the POV to Jacob's perspective.**

* * *

Desperation was setting in. I almost lost her today.

Harry was gone, only cementing my resolve to speed up this process. His death was making it clear how little time we have on this earth, and I didn't want to spend it alone. So maybe that was why this weight began to fill my heart, bringing me down.

I _was_ feeling rejected—rejected by the only woman I ever wanted. It was so hard to love her. She was always out to destroy herself. Didn't she realize how beautiful and smart she was—well, up until she threw herself off the freakin' cliff that is.

I knew I shouldn't have done it. I promised myself that I'd let her come to me, but for some reason today, I felt that I had to risk it even if it meant being hurt again. It was the only way. Testing the waters; that's what it was, and the chilly reception I got was breaking my heart. I wanted to kiss her so badly. I wanted her to say those five little words—yeah, five. She'd already said that she loved me, but I needed to hear, "I'm in love with you." You could love your dad, or your dog, or the flowers in the garden. The difference was, "I'm in love with you," meant so much more. I was beginning to think that I might never be able to hear those words from her and it was destroying me little by little.

So with a heavy heart, I climbed down from the truck and trotted to the other side to help her down also. What was she thinking right now? Did my impulsive actions halt the progress I'd made with her? She didn't pull away when I reached for her waist; that was a good sign. Maybe she didn't realize what my intentions had been. Bella was always a little _out of it._

We walked into her home silently. Jeez, all this quiet was starting to get on my nerves. My palms were sweaty as it was.

I couldn't stand it anymore. The silence was deafening. I had to say something—anything. "You're so quiet. You all right?"

"I'm fine."

She wasn't fine, not at all, but that was her stock answer. Bella Swan was always fine, no matter what.

"You want something to drink?"

I nodded my head. "Sure, sure." Anything to stay here a little longer with the girl of my dreams.

She backed up a step so that she was leaning against the kitchen counter top, within reach of the refrigerator handle. The light was coming in from the window, casting a glow on her face. She looked so beautiful that I couldn't help myself. I closed the gap between us, inching toward her slowly.

Bella gazed into my eyes and parted her lips; I felt my hopes rising. Was she actually waiting for my next move?

Hesitantly, I buried one hand in her hair. Amazingly, she didn't stop me, or try to avert her eyes. I moved my other hand to wrap around her shoulder. Huuuuh ... the soft fabric of her top felt so soft and smooth under my hand. She wasn't trying to squirm away this time, so cupping the back of her head, I drew it closer to mine. She still wasn't stopping me. My heart was pounding away in my chest. This was the moment I'd been waiting for.

Then, bam—the most frustrating thing happened in that instant—the freakin' telephone rang. Bella was pinned against the counter. The phone was on the wall right behind me. If I let her answer it, the moment would be lost. I couldn't take that chance, so I picked up the receiver.

"Swan residence. No, Mike, she can't talk to you. She's a little busy right now_._" _Really busy. _

I hung up the phone quickly, then pulled the receiver down from the cradle, letting it dangle from its cord to prevent any more interruptions.

"You didn't want to talk to Mike, did you?"

Bella shook her head no, her doe eyes never breaking contact with mine. She wet her lips with her tongue, and I took that as my cue. Repositioning myself, I closed my eyes, and gently pressed my lips to hers. The sensation of her lips melding with mine set my heart on fire. I held her a bit more tightly, relishing the feel of her small, gentle frame leaning against me. I deepened the kiss, hoping against hope that she was feeling what my heart was saying to her. _Please_, _Bella_, _please ..._ I prayed silently. _I need you to love me_.

Our kiss was warm and tender, and sweet, and even though the sound of her beating heart was thumping loudly, I sensed that she was holding back somewhat. It was a start, but I worried that it was a token kiss, part of a payment for saving her life. I didn't want her to feel that she owed me anything; I needed her to willingly give of herself.

After breaking the kiss, I rubbed my cheek against hers, luxuriating in the feel of the soft flesh there. I knew that nothing would ever be the same between us. I'd havta wait patiently for the day that those five little words would come from Bella's sweet lips though—the words that would change our lives forever.

* * *

Things progressed from that day. I stated getting a little bolder—okay, so I was getting fresh with her. She never let me get away with anything though, and I'd never be one to push her either. So I'd let my hands wander, and she'd bat them away. It was a game I enjoyed, seeing how far I could get before she put a stop to my naughty advances. It was fun, at least for me. One-two-three—red light, a lot of red lights! A lot of yellow lights too, come to think of it ...

Some of the guys came to me the following weeks, saying that they had spotted the Cullens in Forks. Damn, were they back again to stay? Bella never mentioned Edward, but one day she did say that she'd spent some time with Alice. Bella was a bad liar so I knew she was telling me the truth. If Edward was back, she hadn't seen him yet.

One day, Bella was with me in the Taj, tuning up the bikes, when Embry rushed in, breathing heavily. "Jake, we gotta go, they spotted the redhead. Sorry, Bella."

Bella grabbed my shirt, balling it in her fist. Her eyes were wide with fright. "Please ... promise me you'll be careful."

Covering her hands, I lifted them to my lips, kissing them. "Don't worry. I'll be back in a jif. But stay here just in case she gives us the slip again. My scent will mask yours so she can't double back and find you."

Embry yanked me out the door, and trotted off with me. We both phased and met up with Sam and the rest of the pack.

Sam briefed us_. There're two of them this time. I heard her call the other one, Riley. We've got them cornered._

_Let's finish this. Outta my way, guys, her ass is mine! _It would be the final face off—the _red_ wolf versus the _red_head.I launched myself forward following that putrid stench. Leah jetted ahead of me, and being the fastest, spotted her first. The redheaded leech was pivoting her head around; she knew we had her trapped.

I sailed forward to attack, but she somersaulted back and leaped up a tall pine. Damn gymnast—she'd be great in a circus act. Just then Paul and Jared bounded toward us, close on the heels of the second vamp. He didn't seem as savvy as Red. I turned quickly to help shred him. That proved to be my big mistake, 'cuz Red took that opportunity to swoop down from her perch and pounce onto my back. I bucked wildly, throwing her off me. She landed on the ground and that's when she grasped hold of my back leg, snapping it, and using me as a human Frisbee, slung me against a tree. My head hit the trunk, cracking my skull, and smashing in the side of my face. I was done. Everything went black.

* * *

I heard voices around me, but my eyes wouldn't work. Somehow I managed to wiggle my toes. My right leg had something stiff wrapped around it, so I must've phased at some point.

I guess I was in my own bed, 'cuz everything smelled familiar.

There were several conversations going on at once. Paul was boasting how he and Quil tore the redhead apart. That was a relief. Doc Fang was whispering to my dad, assuring him I'd be okay, but it might take a while for me to regain consciousness. Embry popped into the room, saying Bella was on her way. She had driven to the hospital, but I'd already been discharged, so she was coming back to La Push.

The rumble of the truck preceded her arrival at the front door. Then her feet pattered quickly through the house, finally rushing to my bedside.

"Oh god, Jacob," she sobbed.

I heard Dad pat her on the back or shoulder, I wasn't sure which. "Carlisle says he'll be fine. Even so, be careful where you touch him; two of his ribs on the right are broken. But the main thing is, he hit his head pretty hard ... we don't know for sure when he'll wake up."

Now she was reee-aaaally sobbing.

Everyone except Dad had already left, so Dad said, "I'll leave you two alone. Doctor Cullen says you can talk to him. He'll still hear you even though he's unconscious."

The chair scratched the floor as she dragged it next to my bed. My hand was immediately being squeezed.

"Jacob ... can you hear me? Please ... can you open your eyes? I'm here. It's Bells."

I listened to her gasp as she stroked my face. Obviously, I hadn't seen it yet, but I imagined it was pretty swollen and purple. "Oh no ... your beautiful face.

"Carlisle says you'll be okay. You better, because I can't live without you anymore." She sniffled. "Please don't leave me. I need you."

Bella laid her head on the mattress, covering my hand. I couldn't stand it; she was crying again.

I lost track of time. It seemed like hours, when she whispered, "I won't let you go, not now. I'm in love with you, Jacob Black. Do you hear me? I'm in love with you. I'm sorry I was too stubborn to admit it before. But I want you to be awake when I tell you. Please, Jake, you have to open your eyes for me."

Was I dreaming? Or did I just hear her say she was in love with me? I felt the tears seeping from the corners of my eyes. If only I could _open_ them! I wanted to see her when she spoke those words.

The time ticked on by, and I was getting uncomfortable. I flipped myself over onto my side with great effort, and I looked out into the room through tiny slits. I concentrated with all my might, and slowly my eyelids slid open.

Her head jerked up with my movement.

"Bells?" I croaked. "Whoa, I'm seeing two of you."

I immediately shut my eyes tightly again, then blinked twice. "Mmmnnn ... I'm sooo dizzy."

"You're awake," she cried.

Bella stood suddenly, pushing the chair back. And then the sweetest words I could ever hope to hear gushed from her mouth. "Don't move, I need to say something. You've been waiting a long time for me to tell you that I'm in love with you. You were right. My feelings for you have always been there ... deep inside of me. I _am_ in love with you—I really am."

Crawling up onto the bed, her arms gently snaked around my neck, and the most passionate kiss in the world sealed our love. It figured, now that I was laid up in bed, she was coming onto me. Jeez, what luck. But the good news was I'd be back in shape in just a few days—one of the perks to being a freakin' wolf. Now if only my eyes would focus.

* * *

**A/N numero dos: If you're thinking why didn't Alice show up, or Edward call? Here's the reason: Jacob went over the cliff with Bella, and Alice couldn't see past Jacob. So Edward doesn't go to Italy, and all that drama never takes place. Comprende?**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Gobsmacked!

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

Thank you WolfGirl Cheri for your help—even when you were sick!

* * *

By the following day, the bruises and swelling were improving, and I was getting around the house on my dad's old crutches. It still hurt a little every time I breathed, but I was alive, the redhead was history and Bella loved me. Things were looking up.

The next week, I chucked the crutches, and I was the sort-of-beautiful guy again. Bella and I found new uses for the Taj, but it wasn't 'til Charlie and Dad went up to the cabin for a weekend of fishing that Bella and I got to do some _real_ experimenting.

* * *

Bella and I had just eaten a delicious dinner at her house and we were on her sofa making out. My hand was creeping up inside her blouse, stroking her naked skin. Her fingers were skimming along the waistband of my jeans. Our breathing was getting heavier, and I finally told her, "I'm about ready to explode, Bells, so maybe we better cool it."

She sat up and took me by the hand. "Not tonight."

Tugging on my arm, she led me toward the stairs to her bedroom. The light bulb went off. I lifted her hurriedly as she clamped her legs around my torso, and attacked my lips once more. I flew up the steps with her, still attached at the mouth.

We entered the room and I set her on her feet. This highly anticipated occasion had always been lurking in the back of my mind, even before I got that eyeful at the motel. Still, I was a little hesitant for her sake.

I hated to ask, but I'd never forgive myself later if I didn't. "Are you sure about this?"

She answered by pulling me by the shirt 'til we were flush against one another and planted a mind blowing kiss on my mouth. Man, I'd taught her how to French kiss weeks ago, and she took to it like a French mademoiselle. I had to kick off my shoes; my toes were curling up in there.

"Crap ... wait ... we can't. Bells, not that I don't want to, but, I don't have any protection with me." Well, jeez, I had no idea _this_ was gonna happen tonight! I was gobsmacked.

Dragging me over to her nightstand, she pulled the drawer open behind her and handed me a condom. I guess she was prepared for this in more ways than one. She really had been thinking about this—or at the very most, dreaming?

That did it; I hauled her up and plunked her on the bed in a heated rush, crawling on the mattress beside her. Our fingers made fast work of undoing the buttons, snaps and whatever else was in our way. It had always been my fantasy to peel away her panties, and so I murmured, "Allow me."

Grinning from ear to ear, I slid the white cotton fabric down her shapely legs. I closed my eyes, and holding them to my nose, inhaled the fragrance before dropping them to the floor.

Then ... I stopped for a moment, realizing the significance of what we were about to do. I gazed at her, breathless.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

I swallowed, nervously. "Nothing ... I ... It's just that I can hardly believe you're here with me, that this is actually happening. I hesitated once more. "God, Bella ... you're so beautiful."

Her chocolate eyes widened, the pupils dilating. "Kiss me, Jacob," she moaned.

I covered her waiting lips eagerly with mine, and pulled her closer so that our bodies were touching. Huuuuh ... I was a quivering mass of naked heat from head to toe in anticipation. She didn't have to get my motor started; my body was hardened and ready. Our hands glided over every crevice and curve, getting familiar with each other, and our lips found new hidden places to explore. I wanted to savor every moment and tried to prolong the opening act leading to the main event, but it didn't last as long as I'd hoped. We were both way too eager at that point. Combustible, that's what we were, two torches burning brightly ... well, technically, one torch anyway.

She took my hand and placed it where she needed me to touch her.

I let Bella have her pleasure before I had mine, knowing that this first time might not be so great for her.

It was almost a déjà vu of that night when her moaning woke me up, only this was the real thing. I personally made those sounds escape from her throat and I made her quake just like she did that time. The sound of my name spilling from her lips in a glorious scream sent me to the moon and back. I was now a man who could please his woman.

Bracing myself on my elbows, I hovered over her, and murmured, "Bells ... You know I love you, right?"

Her eyes were alight with love as she answered, "I think I've secretly known it all along."

She lifted her head, and tenderly stroking the back of my hair, kissed me one more time.

I tried to be as careful and gentle as possible, and stopped every now and then, giving her a chance to adjust to me, kissing her softly as I did so. Even so, she still whimpered a little. I felt awful about that, but damn, at the same time, that girl had me totally yelling her name out loud. God ... I was undone. I wanted to cry; my emotions threatening to overwhelm me. It was a miracle. After all these years, Bella was here with me in bed, loving me—a poor Quileute boy from La Push.

Afterwards, I cuddled with her, holding her against me. I kept kissing the side of her neck and her ear, and nuzzling up and down her throat with my nose.

"I'm sorry, Bells, I love you so much and I tried really hard not to hurt you. You okay?"

Turning toward me, she captured my bottom lip, then replied, "I think so, how 'bout you?"

"You havta ask? After _this_ night, you'll havta beat me off you with a baseball bat."

Those chocolate eyes scanned my face once again; then in all seriousness she murmured, "I love you, Jacob Black."

She wasn't close enough—she was never close enough—to suit me, so I reined her in more tightly, drawing her head flush to my ear. I combed my fingers softly through her hair, and poured more baby kisses on her.

"You know I want to marry you someday, right?"

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. Where'd you think I was goin' with this? I can't let you go now. I'd die without your love. Besides, I think we'd make sort of beautiful babies together."

"Hold on, mister, let's not get ahead of ourselves. We're not even out of school yet."

I smirked. "Minor detail."

She smacked me—right in the middle of my chest.

We snuggled down again and fell asleep, clasped together 'til ten the next morning.

* * *

When I woke up, Bella was curled back into me, my arm enclosing her shoulder, and joy of joys, there was no freakin' blanket between us. I left a kiss there, and began thinking about our night together. Oh man, I was already primed for round two, and was raring to go, but I didn't want to wear my sweetie out, so I ran a song through my head replacing any thoughts for a sequel, well ... trying to, anyway.

Bella woke a few minutes later, and rolled toward me. "Mmn ... Jacob ..."

In like manner, I answered, "Mmn ... Bella ..."

She pushed herself up on one elbow, and smiled at me. My innards liquefied. How was I ever gonna leave this bed?

"Charlie's going to be home by noon. We need to get up and eat breakfast. Then you better go."

Dragging around, we got dressed, and ate. I imprisoned her one more time in my arms, and kissed her goodbye as we stood beside the Rabbit. Then it was back to the rez, patrolling, school, blah, blah, blah.

* * *

Yeah, dammit ... life went on, and I didn't have time today to dwell on the perfect night I just experienced. _This_ night, during patrol, however, it was a different story. Some people couldn't let it alone.

_So, you finally got in her pants, huh? About time you got your nuts cracked_, Paul crowed.

_Do you havta be so crude?_

_What? Just stating a fact, pal, crude or not. Looked like you got her off too. Not bad for an amateur. But now that's she's broken in, here's some free advice from the love doctor—ride 'er high, man—ride 'er high! _

Ugh! I ran ahead, putting the jerk behind me.

Embry was at my side immediately. _Don't pay any attention to him, Jake. He's just annoying you because he lost a bet with Quil. _

_What bet?_

_You know ... that Bella would leave you broken-hearted, with your package still unwrapped. Anyway, I'm glad to see you so happy_.

_How come _you_ didn't bet on it?_

_Who says I didn't?_ He winked one wolfy eye at me, then added, _I won._

* * *

There was a bonfire the next evening, so I invited Bella to come. I had plans. I worked on a promise ring for her, most of the day yesterday and today. It was a circle of wood, with steel bands bordering on each side.

While Seth and Quil got the fire started, I was still at home, spiffing myself up. After putting on my shoes, I rummaged around in my sock drawer 'til I found what I was looking for, and trotted off to the gathering, whistling all the way.

Sitting close to the roaring fire, I waited for my sweetie. It was hard to stay seated when I spotted her. I wanted to race up to Bella and kiss her face off—well that—and other more advanced love _stuff._

I could hardly wait for her to sit down. Standing, I literally hauled her onto my lap. My heart was so full, it felt like it had taken up the whole of my chest. I beamed at her, and said, "I have something for you. It's been in my drawer since last Valentine's Day."

I gave her my card and watched as her face lit up with wonder.

"You made this?"

"Yup, all for you, honey."

Her hand reached out and stroked my cheek. "Aww, Jake that was so sweet of you."

Quil came by at that moment. Leaning into my shoulder, he batted his eyelashes squealing, "Awwwww, Jake!"

I shoved him away, blaring, "Get lost, loser."

My dad clapped his hands bringing everybody to attention, as he started his tales. Quil speedily found a spot and sat down.

I nibbled on Bella's ear, muttering, "Jeez, you start to get a little cozy, and the wolves descend.

"Hey, I've got something else for you." I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out the ring. Grabbing her hand, I lifted it, palm up and placed the ring in the middle of it.

"Oh my gosh, it's beautiful but what—?"

I interrupted her. "It's a promise ring. I made it out of wood 'cuz I told you I _would_ marry you someday. I want you to wear it so the guys will know you're taken, especially that pesky Newton."

I picked up the ring, and flipping her palm over, slipped it on the third finger of her left hand. Her eyes got all misty, and she held me closely, her lips meeting mine. I nearly fell off the log. Regaining my balance, I gave as good as I got, and suddenly, I noticed everything got really quiet, except for the crackling and popping of the burning twigs and branches in the fire pit. It was then that I realized I could no longer hear my father's voice. He stopped talking.

My dad cleared his throat, as I opened one eye. _All_ the eyes around the bonfire were on us. I smiled sheepishly, and pulled away from my angel's lips.

Jared muttered, "Get a room, guys."

_My sentiments exactly._

Dad nodded at me, and with one eyebrow quirked, flatly stated, "Are you with us now, Son?"

"Sure, sure, sorry."

Instead of blushing, my girl giggled quietly into my chest.

Continuing on with the history and legends of our people, the sound of Dad's voice filled the air. Bella was comfortably glued to my side, nice and toasty-warm as we listened intently—this time.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Encore! Encore!

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

Thanks to my faithful Beta, WolfGirl Cheri, who stuck with me through this entire story.

* * *

We had to call it a night early; I had patrol duty again. Jared and Sam were out of town for a funeral, and weren't due to return for two more days. That meant the remainder of us had to cover their shifts.

I went by Bella's afterwards but she was sound asleep. I made up my mind at that moment to perform an encore tomorrow night—come hell or high water—water, hey yeah, that's the ticket. Maybe I wouldn't have to wait 'til the moon made its appearance.

* * *

After school the next day, I took a nap and then called my sweetie. Okay, so I had to be rested up for a night of lovin', didn't I? "Hey, Bells, wanna go cliff diving with one hot wolf!"

She saucily replied, "I thought Paul was already dating Valerie."

"Jeez, you really know how to hurt a guy. So ... do you wanna?"

"Sure, you promised me you'd take me, only this time, don't let go. I drowned last time, remember?"

I looked out the window as I replied, "Ugh, don't remind me. I won't ever let you go again; besides, the weather's nice out today. Oh... and wear a two piece bathing suit."

"Why?"

A grin cracked my face. "I have my reasons."

"Does this have anything to do with what happened the other night?"

"It has _everything_ to do with what happened the other night. So, come on down and make it snappy." Jeez, I hated to be such a horndog, but Bella had me tied up in knots after that night, and I needed her to loosen them ... badly.

* * *

We took Bella's truck out to First Beach and walked hand in hand up to the lower jump off point. She removed her cover-up and stepped up beside me.

"You ready to take the plunge?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

I took hold of her hand, grasping it tightly. "Okay, then—on the count of three.

"One, two, three—Geronimo!"

We sailed over the edge, hitting the water with a great big splash.

She shook the water out of her hair and cried, "Oh my gosh—That was amazing."

Her two little hands found my neck, and we twirled in a circle as the water lapped about us. Pulling her closer, I told her, "Come around behind me, and clasp your hands around my neck. See that rock where I'm pointing? I'm gonna take you for a ride over there."

Her mind wasn't as _inventive_ as mine, at least I didn't think it was. That little crease popped up between her eyebrows, and those chocolate circles looked up at me in all innocence. "What's behind that rock?"

"Nothing yet. It'll just be you and me. That's the _love_ rock and I am sooo gonna rock you, baby!"

* * *

I swam with her on my back, and we reached the rock in no time. There was a natural shelf half way up the side of it, so that the water was only chest deep there, and the back of it formed a wall to shut out any prying eyes.

I immediately pinned her to the rock's surface pressing her against it with my body, my hands holding her head still as I smothered her in a hormone induced kiss. Those blissful moans of hers egged me on.

As I drew away, a smile began to form on her lips. "I think I'm getting the picture."

"Smart girl. But, hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, go on."

I teased her, tracing a finger lightly across the swell of her breast peeking out above the top of her swimsuit. "Don't get mad now okay, but well, what do you think about having a little sea sex? I mean ... you gotta know I'm dying for a repeat performance. Would it upset you if I took you right here on this rock? After that night we spent together, all I can think about is having an encore."

Bella ran her hand along my shoulder. "You are such a naughty boy—I love it."

In response to my wicked request, she pulled one strap of her top down her arm, and was ready to do the same with the other one, when I heard Leah's voice calling me. What the hell did she want now? Great timing, Leah ...

I stretched my neck sideways to look beside the mighty monolith, and there she was motioning to me frantically. She gave me the signal—a closed fist with the other hand enclosing her wrist—vamp in the area. "Sh**, looked like our sea adventure would have to wait.

Looking at Bella wistfully, I uttered the words that nailed our coffins. "I've gotta go, Bells. Duty calls, dammit! But hold that thought and keep your window open tonight, 'cuz I'm gonna be dropping in—literally. Now pull up those ties and climb on my back; I'll swim us to shore.

* * *

There was one measly tick touring our lands. He'll never be a tourist anywhere ever again, that's for sure. The sucker wasn't as adept at evading us as that damn redhead was, but it was still fun watching him _try_ to outrun us. Phht! It was almost over too fast. Unfortunately for me though, I _still_ had to patrol 'til midnight.

The rest of the night was pretty routine, no funny odors reeking in the trees. Our noses were safe.

When our relief showed up, Quil brayed, _Better get out of his way, guys, Jacob's got some lovin' on his mind._

And in a British falsetto_,_ Embry chipped in_, Release the hound._

_We're gonna be hearing Bells ring tonight! _Paul added_.  
_

_Hey_, Seth complained. _You shouldn't talk like that, there's a lady present._

_Oh yeah? I don't see one._

I left speedily as Seth sailed into Paul. They were tumbling on the ground, while Leah was in the middle of it trying to break it up.

* * *

I was a blur of russet fur as I flew over the ground to see my mate. When I reached her house, I reverted to skin and after hastily slipping on my shorts, leaped up the tree and vaulted over the window sill. I nearly collided with my sweetie, as she was practically yanking me through the casement. Her mouth was on mine immediately, and her hands were busy tugging at my shorts. I didn't get the pleasure of undressing her this time, 'cuz she was wrapped in a sheet, waiting for me to take her to heaven with me.

My dexterity and wolf-speed served me well. I had her swept up, sheet and all, and on the bed. She was ready for some lovin', in the flick of a wolf's tail. Come to think of it ... she didn't waste much time either. Anyway, we were into some seriously hot and heavy petting, and as I was just about ready to launch my missile, Bella cried out the words I would die for: "Oh my gosh, hurry—please ... Jacob, don't stop!"

I quickly covered her mouth with mine. I would've loved to have heard what else slipped off her tongue while in her passionate state, but I didn't want to wake up the bear asleep in the next room. Good thing Charlie was a sound sleeper. He was used to her nightmares too, right? That little expletive didn't really resemble any nightmare I ever heard though.

Now I had two things to worry about; holding back long enough to be sure my sweetheart got hers, and keeping her quiet so Charlie didn't put a bullet hole in me. We desperately needed a place for our encounters where we wouldn't be disturbed or have our vocal chords restrained. Maybe if I hauled an air mattress into the Taj, and put a sign on the door ...?

So involved in making love with this woman, I didn't realize until later when she was settled in my arms again, that there was a cloud of a sickly sweet aroma outside in the yard. There was no mistaking whose stench I was identifying. Edward apparently returned to make amends. He had been standing under her window, hearing everything—from our telltale heartbeats, to Bella's enthusiastic declaration, to the squeaking of the bed springs.

Needless to say, Bella and I never saw a bronze hair on his head from that day forward. And to my eternal joy, I never once heard the phrase: _Jacob, don't!_ ever again. I looked forward to a new phrase— _Jacob, don't stop!_ Now, I could listen to _that_ plea over and over and over ...

**The End**


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